Page 152 of The Heart of Winter

Today, the waves were higher than in previous days. They crashed against me, soaking my pants in icy spray. Soon, my thighs were wet, and even the edge of my blanket had started to drag in the water. I was shaking so hard that after a while, I could barely control my own body.

I tried digging through the sand with my feet, but it wasn’t doing much. Over and over, I reminded myself that if I didn’t pull it together, we were done for. We’d die here, and that poor twenty-two-year-old kid wouldn’t get to live a normal life.

A sharp pain twisted in my chest.

Sariel didn’t deserve to die. I clenched my teeth and forced myself to keep going, kicking through the sand.

Then, a bigger wave surged up, nearly reaching my hips. I flinched violently at the freezing shock. No warm current from the stream reached this far. Wading through this in January, starving and already freezing, was too much.

When another wave crashed into me, this one almost hitting my back, I knew it was over. I had to get out of here.

One more wave like that, and I’d go down. And if I went down, I wasn’t getting back up.

Trembling uncontrollably, I stumbled toward the stream’s mouth. The slightly warmer water there did almost nothing for me. My teeth were chattering so violently that my whole skull ached.

I started climbing back up, following the streambed, and somehow made it to the cave, feeling like I was barely conscious.

Sariel was sitting by the fire, rubbing a few leftover twigs over the stone, I guessed to make another bark pancake, but the moment he saw me, he went pale.

"Fuck, Winter—holy hell! Look at you!"

I tried to answer, but my jaw was locked shut.

Sariel jumped up and, balancing on one leg, hopped over to me. He grabbed at the blankets, yanking them off, then started pulling off my soaked clothes, even my jacket was wet.

Once I was stripped down, he dragged me toward the hot spring, moving awkwardly on his one good leg. I could see him wince from the pain, but he didn’t stop.

I collapsed into the steaming water.

The heat was a shock. My whole body seized up, and a painful groan escaped my throat.

"I’m sorry," I choked out. "I couldn’t do it. It was so cold, Sariel—I just couldn’t."

"It’s okay, Winter. I get it. It snowed. It’s freezing out there. You don’t have to explain. Just warm up. Rest."

His arms wrapped around me, gentle and caring. I had the horrible feeling that they were the only thing keeping me from slipping away.

God.

Day five, and I was already falling apart?

People were supposed to be able to survive a month without food, as long as they had water. But then I remembered: the cold. The physical effort. That drained glycogen from the muscles at an alarming rate. I knew this. I was a regular at the gym.

On top of that, I had little body fat to burn as reserves.

And at the rate I was going, even just a few days without food, combined with this kind of exertion, could wreck me fast, with my body starting to eat itself, beginning with muscles, unavoidably weakening me.

Sighing, I rested my head against his shoulder. How nice…

I realized then that if I were alone, I probably wouldn’t even try.

If I were stranded here by myself, I wouldn’t bother leaving the cave at all. I’d just let the cold, the wind, and the dampness seep into my bones until there was nothing left.

"You know," I whispered, "the temperature right around freezing is the worst. There’s still moisture in the air, and it carries the cold. When it gets really cold, the air dries out. The cold doesn’t bite as much then."

Maybe I was just talking for the sake of talking, to remind myself that I was still here.

Sariel’s hands moved over my hair, soothing me. He left a trail of little kisses on my temple and forehead.

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