Page 157 of The Heart of Winter

Was Sariel still asleep? The warm water looked tempting. No, not resting anymore. I’d rested too much already, gone too easy on myself.

Gritting my teeth, I forced my body to move and walked back to the beach.

Staring at the gray, icy surface of the ocean was like staring into the face of my greatest enemy.

"I hate you," I whispered.

I bent down, grabbed a few rocks, and hurled them angrily at the indifferent sea.

"Why can’t you give me some of your gifts?! You’re teeming with life, but here on the shore, you won’t even throw me a single fish!" I shouted.

A hollow laugh burst from my lips.

What was I doing? I’d heard that starving people sometimes started hallucinating.

Was that what was happening to me so quickly? Was I losing my mind?

Hunger was messing with my head, definitely.

And on top of everything, I couldn’t stop obsessing over how my condition had worsened so fast.

It was like a mad swirl in my head.

Why? Why? I’d only been fully starving for five days—and yet people had survived for weeks on just water. I just couldn’t understand it.

Was moving around in the cold really enough to burn through that many calories?

I was aware I had asked myself this question a hundred times already, but it was still mind-boggling. How shockingly fast the human body could exhaust its energy in the cold, under constant effort, cutting the time of normal functioning byweeks!

If someone had told me before, "In five days of starving, you'll be this weak," I would have been skeptical. But life had shown me just how little I really knew about my own body.

I pulled off my shoes and rolled up my pant legs, stepping into the stream’s mouth to search again. I was more careful this time, making sure not to get my pants wet. I knew I might not have the strength to climb back up the volcano to dry them again. And in the cave, there was no chance, too much moisture.

Then, suddenly, my foot hit something.

A tiny clam.

I shivered as I pried it open. Inside—meat.

Like a madman, I tore off a small piece and shoved it into my mouth.

But I froze.

No.

I couldn’t.

I spat it out and put it back into the shell, gripping it tightly in my fist.

Sariel…

I had to save that mint-haired kid.

He was dying in that cave.

I had to at least try to give him a chance.

I turned and stepped onto the beach.

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