Page 169 of The Heart of Winter

Sariel wasn’t there. That didn’t really surprise me. I scanned the sand carefully, analyzing every detail, and then I saw them. His footprints.

They led toward the cape, a place I had never gone before. Jagged cliffs rose up there, not very tall, but rough and steep. I had no idea if I could get past them.

Maybe he went looking for bird eggs? The thought lodged itself in my brain and wouldn’t leave.

The journey to it seemed impossible to complete, not in my state. For a while, I just stood there, staring blankly at the long nose of the cape, forgetting what I was even doing.

Finally, I made one step, wobbly, then another. And just like that, I started gradually shortening the distance.

It took me nearly an hour to reach the cape. It was maybe six hundred yards, and I dragged myself forward, step by step, my body nearly collapsing with every movement. Sometimes I had to sit down and rest. Every time I got up again, it became harder.

There were moments when I lay down on the rocks and drifted off. Then, with immense effort, I forced myself to wake up again, even though my body protested.

Eventually, it got to the point where I started arguing with myself.

"Move, you idiot. Do you want to spend the whole night here on the beach? By morning, the seals will crawl out of the water and devour your half-starved corpse."

A second voice answered, "Leave me alone. I just need to take a quick nap, recover my strength. Then I’ll get up again…"

"You won’t move. You’ll stay right here. That’s how starvation works. You just stop moving. You curl up, tell yourself it’s only for a moment, but you never wake up. It’s just like hypothermia. You drift off into a blissful sleep… and that sleep turns into an eternal one."

Then I pressed my hand against my chest and heard that dull, steady pounding.

My heart was whispering, pleading, begging…

"Keep going, Winter. Keep moving forward, Winter. Don’t give up! Never give up!"

Fight.

Fight for every step.

Fight for every inch.

Fight for every breath.

Fight… so you can see him again.

Sariel.

At last, when the sun was high in the sky, probably around 10 am, I reached the rocky cape. Standing beneath it, I glared hatefully at the dark rocks. I was almost certain that Sariel had climbed over them.

But how the hell was I supposed to do that?

My body was wrecked, a walking skeleton.

One more effort. Could I make one last effort?

And my heart answered: "Yes, youcan. Find Sariel. You have to find him. He needs you."

With trembling hands, I reached out to the rock face and slowly started climbing its uneven surface.

I had a strange sensation that every movement I made wasn’t really mine, like I was just a puppet being controlled by someone else. My awareness seemed to be slipping out of my body, leaving it behind like an unwanted, uncomfortable shell.

Honestly, I didn't even know how I made it to the top of the cliff.

I saw that beyond the cape, there were more small coves stretching ahead. Luckily, there weren’t any bigger cliffs in my way, just more sandy beaches to cross.

I tried to stay focused on what I was doing, but my arms and legs moved on their own, while my soul seemed to hover about five feet away from my body, unmoored.

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