Page 196 of The Heart of Winter

Whoever had financed it had to be aware Sariel and I were together the entire time. You didn’t need to be a genius to guess our relationship must’ve deepened. How much, though? That’s what the psychologist kept probing for.

But I dodged every attempt. I was at the top of my game, evasive, vague, never giving a straight answer. What if Sariel had already said we were together? Then I'd look like a liar. So instead, I stuck to neutral territory:

"Of course, situations like that bring people closer… there’s emotional support…"

And when he pressed, "But how close did you get?"

I replied, "It’s hard to define… we were focused on surviving. Food. Cold. Hopelessness…"

Each time he came at me with another angle, I spun off into a tangent. Never confirmed. Never denied. But it was more and more clear that most of what he was saying had been planted by Jacob. You could feel it behind every calculated ‘concern’ the psychologist voiced.

When my cousin Hunter came back from the front lines last year, after losing his husband in an ambush by NotFromHere militants, no psychologist told him to isolate from his unit. In fact, they encouraged him to spend time with them—those were the people who could understand what he’d been through. But Hunter pulled away anyway, not just from them, but from our whole family, and it didn’t help him.

I was fairly close with him before; he was my only cousin close to my age, and what happened to him was sad and worrisome.

That’s how I knew a normal psychologist, one not acting on someone else’s orders, wouldn’t have pushed this hard to keep me from Sariel, since isolation could worsen our trauma. It all just didn’t add up.

As we neared landing, the psychologist leaned in and said, "Mr. Jacob Lowen is waiting at the airport for his son. Let’s give them space to reunite, alright, Mr. Nolan?" His eyes locked onto mine with intensity.

So I nodded, almost automatically.

As he guided me toward a different exit, I heard Sariel call my name. I wanted to go to him, but…

The psychologist’s fingers clamped down on my arm. Hard. Practically dragging me away.

And I so went, something curling up tight in my chest, it was painful; it felt wrong.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. But it was already done.

The psychologist and an airline staffer were leading me toward the terminal, where my family was waiting.

I was so emotionally shaken that seeing them hit me harder than I expected.

My dad jumped the barrier and ran to me, tears streaming down his face. He reached me in seconds, wrapping me in a crushing hug.

He kept whispering, "Winnie, Winnie… my heart, my baby!"

He muttered apologies for how long I’d had to wait, swore he’d been counting the days…

Moments later, the rest of my family surrounded me: my father, my brothers and their partners, Uncle Van with his husband and their younger sons. My cousin Nathaniel was there too, and… surprise, surprise, even Hunter had come. I felt grateful, and just a little overwhelmed.

So many people, all cheering, hugging me, clapping my shoulder.

"Winter, you lucky bastard!"

Skye pulled me into a tight hug and Soren muttered, "Glad you're back. I was about to lose my damn mind with ‘General’ Durden as my temp boss…"

And then, through the crowd, came none other than Jacob Lowen.

Immediately, I tensed.

But he kept it short. Just a quick hello, he said he was glad I was alive, that it was a true miracle, and added that he’d call me tomorrow morning. He even apologized to my dad for ever doubting him, then bowed out, saying he didn’t want to intrude on such a joyful reunion.

I felt genuine relief watching him walk away.

Everyone swept me along toward the car. I tried to turn around to catch one last look at Sariel, but he was surrounded by a crowd of his relatives.

My heart was too overwhelmed to process it all.

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