Page 205 of The Heart of Winter

Staring at the lake, he said, "You know, I’m in a similar situation. Liam never had sex before. I could torture myself with the thought that maybe he’d want to go out and sow his wild oats before settling down. But I refuse to believe that people can only be happy if they fuck a hundred guys before settling down."

"But it’s just that… if he were more experienced, he could make a more informed choice about what he truly wants."

Finn snorted. "Do you really think that having more choices makes it easier to decide? You become picky. ‘I’ll take this personality trait from alpha #1, that feature from omega #2, and the dick size from alpha #58’—and then piece together this perfect, imaginary person. But if you don’t find someone who ticks every single box, you’re never satisfied. And happiness is never about chasing perfection. It’s about learning how to appreciate the good things you already have." He tapped his temple. "Happiness, more than anything else, is adeliberatechoice."

"I do understand that, Finn," I sighed, feeling exhausted. "Sure, too many experiences can mess with your head, andnothingfeels special anymore. But the issue is… Sariel might not see it that way, Finn. For a fresh-out-of-college kid, it’s just ‘boomer talk’. The world is a hunting ground, full of dicks and holes he could make use of."

Finn straightened up, his eyes flickering with amusement. "But from what you told me before, he didn’t do it while he was in college, so maybe it’s just not in his character. Stop torturing yourself over nothing. If he wanted to mess around, he would’ve done it by now."

A headache started pounding at my temples.

"There’s something else… Sariel is from a rich family. He’ll always be in the spotlight, surrounded by attention. There will be omegas interested in a rich heir. They’ll question his choice, say things like, ‘Really? That’s the best you could do? Just an older albino beta?’"

Finn shut his eyes tightly.

"Winter, that’s excuse after excuse. And you’re overthinking. Don’t talk about yourself like you’re some third-rate option. You’re fucking gorgeous and sexy as hell. You know I’ve always wanted you, and I did a lot of stupid shit because I knew I couldn’t have you for real. Don’t put yourself down like that. You’re smart, talented, and a good person."

I shot up from my seat, emotions buzzing through me. It was just too much.

"Finn, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but I’m just not ready to talk to Sariel."

Finn was silent for a moment, his gaze drifting to the lake, visible down the gentle slope of my parents' garden.

"When are you going back to work?"

"I think in two days."

"Seriously? That soon?"

"What else am I supposed to do?" I scoffed. "Sit in my childhood bedroom, staring at old band posters, reminiscing about how my classmates used to make fun of me, calling me ‘Snowman’? And just drown in depression and hopelessness?"

"That depression might find you either way, Winter. What you went through was a major life event, a real shock to your body and mind. Downplaying it, pretending nothing happened… that’s not going to do you any favors."

"Work will help me focus. Help me get back to normal."

Finn glanced toward the exit, like he’d decided the visit was over. From the look on his face, he thought I was a lost cause, but he was doing his best not to show it. He placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Don’t let this slip away, Winter. This could be something really valuable, and you might let it pass you by. And I don’t believe in that codependency bullshit. I know you had feelings for him before the island. This didn’t just start out of nothing."

Then he gave a small shrug and said,

"But just so you know, I’m really glad you’re alive, Winter. When I heard about the crash, it hit me like a truck. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have Liam. It wasn’t easy. I kept thinking how unfair it was… that someone as valuable as you was lying at the bottom of the ocean, never getting the chance to—"

He hesitated for a second before finishing,

"—fall in love."

I took a step back, his words hitting me right in the heart, a knife sinking deep. I pressed a hand to my chest, as if that could ease the ache.

Finn gave me a sad smile, raised his hand in farewell, and turned to leave.

Breathing shallowly, I stood there in the middle of the room, watching him go, feeling even more lost than when he’d arrived. He truly messed with my head.

What the hell should I do?

A moment later, my dad walked into the room.

His gentle face turned toward me as he approached, looking me straight in the eyes. I felt his comforting presence wrap around me.

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