Page 102 of Inside the Sun

If I were a normal guy, I’d probably say something to ease the tension, maybe even comfort him. A word to soften the edge of that sorrow radiating off him.

But I don’t. And probably shouldn’t. I can’t build something here that was never meant to be built.

This kid’s Anzo’s boy. He’ll never be mine. Trying to make this into anything real would be doomed to fail.

"I have to go. Luca told me to clean up and leave. I shouldn’t hang around any longer."

I turn on the shower and rinse away the sex and his scent as quickly as I can.

He stands against the wall, stiff and motionless, the occasional tear still rolling down his cheek.

Dammit, why? It was such a good fuck, but it ended like this. Why did I even give in to his pleading? Now it’s a mess.

I step out and grab a towel, jaw clenched. That’s when he speaks, voice quiet.

"I left you some clothes on the bed. A big T-shirt, it used to be my brother’s, and a pair of elastic shorts. They should fit."

"Thanks," I say tersely.

Then I glance at my face in the mirror over the sink. My forehead has already regenerated; no bullet bruise is left. Perks of being a monster, I guess. Though there are downsides, as this situation shows.

My sensitivity is not as sharp as other people's, and even when I try to work on it, it does not always come through.

Our eyes meet in the reflection. His are so… sad.

I’m about to turn and walk out of the bathroom, but something stops me in my tracks.

My conscience.

"Sun… I wanted to thank you too. For your courage. I noticed what you tried to do when they shot at me. You pushing Vito gave me a much-needed time to shake off the dizziness. I appreciate it. It was very brave of you."

It’s the least I can give him.

Then, so as not to drag this out, I leave the bathroom fast. It takes less than a minute to get dressed.

He stays in there.

And I don’t go back.

With quite a rush, I get the fuck out of there, praying that Mauro and Luca haven’t turned the cameras back on yet.

By some miracle, I make it down the stairs and out the door, then walk along the wall toward the passageway. Nobody sees me.

Bonzo still isn’t at his post, so I slip through unnoticed. At the outer gatehouse, a few guards are chatting animatedly, not paying me any mind.

It’s a rare moment when they lose their usual cautiousness, not caring if some associates can hear them.

I slow down near the line of cars parked in the passageway, but I can’t stop. I should get out of the central garden and keep my distance from the people working here. Follow my rule of not engaging, staying low-key, which seems almost funny after what I just did.

But yeah, I should at least try to use the chance Luca and Mauro gave me. One last straw of hope to push on with the mission.

A piece of their convo reaches me.

"…The fucker had it coming, but damn… it was crazy!"

"Rocco’s gonna lose his shit. Vito was the apple of his eye…"

"Luca went full-on berserk…"

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