Page 169 of Inside the Sun

I look down at my hands, trying to bring some order to my thoughts. I wait a beat before I mutter,

"You had an accident."

Ragnar blinks. "Yes. But I’m good now."

Neither of us say anything for a short pause. We both kinda look to the side, as if unsure what happens now.

Finally, I mutter, despite knowing better.

"I was worried about you."

His eyes grow softer.

"You shouldn't. I was an asshole to you."

"Maybe you were, but I still worried."

There is a silence between us now, but it's not an unpleasant one. Even in this place, amidst these dark days and horrors, I can still feel some kind of excitement and pink, bubbly energy. How strange. I'm just fucking happy to see him safe and well, simple as that.

"So…" I clear my throat. "Do you like motorcycles?"

His eyes flicker with surprise, but he nods.

Should I talk about it?

"The guy I mentioned before, the one I loved…" I clear my throat again, feeling something there, like tightness.

"We used to ride together, out on back roads, disappearing for the night, driving my parents crazy. Sometimes we’d head into the mountains, lie under the stars, and talk about the future. Where we’d go. What we’d see. What might be waiting just past the next curve. What kind of adventure…"

"Where is he now?" Ragnar asks softly, still not looking at me. He’s staring at the floor now.

"He fled the country, and now he lives with some omega, they're expecting a kid. He’s long forgotten about me. But I haven’t forgotten how I felt back then. So free. Every day felt new, bright. Full of promise."

I smile ruefully. "Every day, I wanted to wake up, just eager to see what the road would bring."

Ragnar keeps his head down but says quietly,

"I swear to you, Sun… if a miracle happens and you ever escape Anzo, I’ll take you on a trip around the world. We’ll hop on my bike and just go. And where we can’t ride, we’ll sail."

Feeling a strange flutter in my heart, I nod. "I’m holding you to that, Ragnar. If a miracle happens."

Ragnar suddenly takes two steps forward and stops right in front of me.

He raises his hand and gently touches my neck, placing his palm over my scent gland.

We look into each other’s eyes.

"Will you forgive me? I know you were angry…" he says softly.

"I was angry with my heart. But I forgive you with my mind. I absolutely understand your reasons."

He strokes my gland lightly, and I shiver. Not from fear, but from something sweet and warming.

"When I heard you had an accident, it was… fucking terrifying," I whisper. "Even knowing you and I are not… really a thing. I—"

"Don’t. Don’t… say we’re not really a thing. We are, Sun. Strange. Tragic. But we are a thing."

Emotions rise in my chest. I need to change the topic, before I say something stupid, something I can’t take back. Something that would make us suffer even more.

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