Page 55 of Inside the Sun

I sigh, hating that I have to lie again. "You know how breakups go."

Then I decide to tell him something that is true.

"Since Dogger left, I haven’t been able to connect with anyone. I keep looking, but always in the wrong places," I mumble. "I’m just tired… of always failing."

Dad listens closely, watching me attentively.

"Martin once told me that all the problems in my life stem from the fact that I never dealt with what happened. That I never tried to heal. Never let go of the anger I’ve been carrying since Dogger killed Hanson."

"Sweetheart, you’re eighteen. It’s only been two years. You’re being way too hard on yourself. I know how much you loved Dogger. It felt like you two were soulmates. It’s hard tofind someone like that again, at least until you meet your True Mate. Until then… well, you’ll have to kiss a lot of frogs."

Suddenly, a thought strikes me, something I can say that’ll make my pain seem even more real to him.

"I found out something… about Dogger."

"What is it?"

"He fled to another country. One that doesn’t have an extradition agreement with us. He’s running a bar over there. Got together with some omega. They’re having a kid. For him, that whole chapter—me, us—it’s over. In the past. But for me… I guess it’s not."

Dad pulls me into another hug. I barely stop myself from groaning when his arms put pressure on my bruised shoulder.

"Don’t lose hope, Sun. Someday you’ll meet the special one. Someone you click with the way you did with Dogger. I truly believe that. I’ll pray every day to Fate to bring that person to you."

I press my lips together so I don’t show him what his words are doing to me. I have to keep some part of me intact. If I change too much, even that might start to seem suspicious to him.

"Would you want to come home for the weekend?" he asks. "Skye’s there. He’s not doing so great, something about a boy who broke his heart. Maybe having you around would cheer him up?"

I let out a bitter laugh.

"I’m the last person who can cheer anyone up, Dad. I’m the one who needs fixing. But thank you for coming. I just… I need to handle this on my own."

"That’s what adulthood is, son. Facing every challenge life throws at you, step by step. Learning from it. Growing."

"And sometimes those lessons are brutal. I just hope I can learn something from this one," I mutter. "And that I can heal."

He tilts his head and smirks a little, though I have no idea why.

"I’m pretty sure if you put your mind to it, you can heal anything, Sun."

"Dad… I really can’t. I’ve been trying for the last two years. And I keep falling into the wrong relationships, still running away from the one I had with Dogger."

But he just shakes his head.

"You just need to choose it, Sun. Make the decision and focus on healing the wound. There’s nothing that can stop you. You’re very strong. Always have been."

I peer toward the window, feeling a wave of melancholy wash over me.

Because he is so wrong about me.

I’m just a pathetic little brat, screaming in pain, hung on Anzo’s hook.

Dealing with the consequences of my own stupidity.

***

After talking to my dad and saying goodbye, I head back to the parking lot. The three of Anzo’s soldiers are gone from the car. I wait a good fifteen minutes before they finally show up. I wonder if they spent that time removing the cameras from the room, but I don’t feel like talking about it.

We get into the car in silence.

---