Page 56 of Inside the Sun

I don’t ask if I did well, because I know I did. I know I managed to calm my dad down.

The question is: how long will it last?

The longer I stay in The Sun’s fortress and the worse my situation gets, the more my dad—who’s incredibly intuitive—will sense that something’s wrong with me. For his sake, I need to pull myself together. Get a grip on my emotions. Find somethingto hold onto, something that’ll give me even the smallest bit of strength. Something that’ll help me feel in control again.

Maybe even let me take a small kind of revenge on Anzo?

By the time we reach the fortress, I already have the outline of a plan. It’s not a nice one, but maybe I need to start doing even more crazy shit to balance out the stuff that’s already wrecking my life. That counts as a strategy too, right?

I could, for example… fuck with one of hissoldati.

Yep, they are supposedly super loyal, but if one of them had a slip-up, he would most likely be too scared to tell Anzo, and I could have some kind of leverage over him, correct? Maybe then he would be more willing to help me… somehow?

And Matteo definitely checked me out more than once. He is a good candidate.

This new plan seems promising, so I just decide not to think it over too much. So as not to find any unnerving holes in it. Sometimes it’s better this way, to just test things as they go, using the momentum.

When we get out of the car, I mumble to Matteo,

"I feel like shit. I wanna lie down."

"I’ll take you to your room. The boss won’t be back until tonight."

Massimo and Franco hang back while Matteo and I head toward my room. But once we hit the stairs, I fake a stumble and drop to one knee.

"Help me," I say, reaching out my hand.

With a flicker of uncertainty on his face, Matteo helps me up. For a second, I lean into him, letting my head fall against his shoulder. My mouth brushes close to his neck, and I murmur quietly,

"Can you help me feel better?"

Matteo jerks back like I’m contagious.

"Don’t try that shit with me. The boss warned me, and you’re exactly what he said you’d be!"

I stare at him. Fuck. Didn’t go as planned. I need to get out of this somehow.

"You don’t understand," I say, making my voice sound desperate. "I just want some medicine. Or alcohol. Or anything that'll help me forget this nightmare for five minutes."

Anzo was ahead of me, again. Of course he predicted I’d try to seduce his guards.

Matteo, apparently, doesn’t have a mind like Anzo’s, because he buys it.

He sighs. "I can’t get you alcohol. Anzo would have to agree. But I’ll ask the kitchen if they’ve got any painkillers."

"I’d really appreciate it. I can barely move my arms," I mutter.

We keep walking toward my room. Inside, I’m seething. I just hope Matteo doesn’t tell Anzo, because the bastard would see through my act in a second.

Matteo opens the door and shuts it behind me. Ten minutes later, he comes back and tosses a pack of painkillers onto the bed.

Then he leaves.

Right away I can tell. Matteo might be an asshole, but he’s not the same kind of psychopath as Anzo. But even if I could get through to him, he’s too obedient. That might be the weak link in my plan, his blind devotion. With soldiers, it usually takes a lot to buy them off. This attempt might have been a stupid move. I just hope I got away with it.

I take two pills, walk over to the window, and stare out at the garden again.

Once more, I see the gardener. This time he's removing small patches of lichen that have grown on some of the patio stones.

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