Page 85 of Inside the Sun

"Lucky us, we found common ground," Sun grins, nearly baring his teeth.

It’s rare to see him smile like that, and damn, it only makes him more charming. The political convo was worth it. For a moment, I catch myself staring at his face, those red lips… I simply can’t look away. I must be forgetting myself because suddenly Sun’s expression shifts. He stares back just as intensely.

The silence gets more loaded.

"You’re very handsome," he blurts out, then blushes like he’s ashamed of his honesty.

Shit. I freeze, unsure how to respond. It’s a nice compliment, sure, but that’s not the point. Am I supposed to tosshim a generic ‘you too’? He’s probably heard that a thousand times. I mean, would that even help, or would it just make him feel the loss of his old life even more?

"You shouldn’t say that, Sun. Let’s not shift our relationship like that."

"Shift it how?" he mutters, turning his head, and a wave of bitterness spreads over his face. The light, pleasant mood is gone.

"Dangerously."

"You know, if I weren’t here, if I were outside, free, I’d say the exact same thing."

"Thank you. And I’d say it back. But you are here. Don’t make this harder on yourself."

His lips press together in defiance.

"I told you, I just want to feel normal. Even if it’s pretend. For my sanity. And…" he hesitates, "at least when I’m around you, I feel that way, even if we barely know each other." His lashes tremble slightly.

There’s something devastating in his words, and I have to steel myself against the surge of emotions rising inside me. Emotions that could make me do something stupid.

Like hug him for the second time.

He seems to think about something too, his hand moves slightly up, then falls down again. Does he want to touch me again? But we’re in plain sight here.

"I’m glad this interaction felt normal to you. But… I really have to go now," I say, clearing my throat. I sound drier than I intended. Drier than he deserves.

But I’ve already stayed too long.

So, I turn and walk away, promising myself, yet again, I won’t come back here. Ever.

I can’t talk to him. I can’t afford to drown in the green of his eyes or the orange scent that surrounds him.

Because I realize one upsetting thing.

For the last two days, I didn’t eventhinkone time about my brothers!

Sun eclipsed them completely. Pun intended.

I can't be like this, I'm here for a reason. My distraction means less chance for them. I'm a soldier on a mission, for fuck’s sake!

***

The next day, I manage to stick to that for the entire morning. I see Sun’s on the patio, playing the harp for a while, but I fight the urge to give in to the spell of his music, and I win. I don’t go over.

Then, after lunch, which I spend in the kitchen listening to soldiers talk shit about some omegas, I escape to the garden. I plan to trim the lawn on the side and prep it for the banquet tables.

But then I see Sun walking toward the pool.

And the pool, as I mentioned, connects to the garden… So soon enough, I’m way too close to that dangerously beautiful view again, and I can’t stop staring.

What’s he doing now?

I switch on the trimmer. Sun shrugs off his towel-robe.

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