Page 98 of Inside the Sun

"But I don’t want you to be in control."

He slides the glass door of the shower aside and steps into the stall with me.

That’s when I see he’s holding something in his hand. I catch the scent: plastic wrapping. I can guess what it is.

"Sun, seriously—"

But then he abruptly presses up against me, his young, lithe body vibrating with life, energy, and heat.

I can smell him again; sadly, not his natural pheromones, but that sweet, tempting orange blossom scent from his body wash. His arms come around my back. He clings to me, chest to chest.

I should push him away, dear Fate, I should, but I just… can’t. There’s no force in the universe that could make me reject this beautiful, desperate body pressed against mine.

He leans in close, standing on his tiptoes, his mouth brushing under my ear as he murmurs, "Please…"

And still I don’t push him off.

Kissing my neck, he whispers, "I want you to fuck me."

That’s what finally snaps me out of it.

I push him back to arm’s length, but he’s still clinging to my biceps like a vine. There’s barely enough space in the stall to create distance, and probably not enough space on the entire damn planet.

"Why are you doing this, Sun? This isn’t the right moment. You’re in shock and under stress, you were just assaulted—" I blurt out, grasping for any reason to hold him off.

"Yes, I’m under stress, constant stress!" He pants, his pupils are so dilated they nearly eclipse the green of his irises. "I need to be my own person, to decide something for myself, not just do whatever he wants, because if I don’t, I disappear."

"Sun, don’t you understand? If he finds out, if anyone finds out, Anzo will kill us. Luca and Mauro know we came to the same room! If I stay here too long—"

"They don’t seem like Anzo’s biggest fans. Please, Ragnar… it’s such a small thing for you to give me…"

He’s still gripping my arms. I try again to shake him off, but he’s latched on tight. The only way to get him off now would be to use actual force, and I don’t want to manhandle this distraught, beautiful guy.

"I’m not in this fortress of my own free will," he whispers. "I don’t want to be here. But he’ll kill my family if I try to run. I have nothing, Ragnar. No hope. No chance at being even remotely happy, no way to feel normal. But you… you could give me a slice of that."

"I can’t, I…"

He lunges at me with so much urgency I can’t stop him in time. He presses against me again.

"There’s nothing left of me to hold on to. Please, don’t make me beg before I fall apart…"

His soft lips again brush the side of my neck. That warm, wet kiss sends a full-body shiver through me.

Goddammit, what a fucked-up situation.

A miracle got me out of one disaster, and now I’m about to cross another line? Risk it all again, when I’ve just started to believe I might get back on track with my mission?

And yet… I haven’t had real sex in a year. Before that, just scraps, quick, meaningless encounters with other desperate operatives.

So now, standing here, I’m practically defenseless. The closeness of his sweet-smelling body unlocks the hunger that’s been building in me over months of tension.

The knowledge that he’s Anzo’s lover—what used to hold me back—starts to fade. I try to summon all those negative feelings again, but they slip right through me like smoke.

His hands won’t let go of me, his hips press against my thigh, and I can feel… the hard length of his cock against me.

Fuck. Mine reacts instantly and becomes fully erect in response. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying once again to will myself to push him away. But it takes a moment to gather enough motivation. I keep repeating to myself,"Do you want to save your brothers, Ragnar? If Anzo finds out, this ends."

But my dick clearly isn’t on board with theminimizing the riskplan. And with this gorgeous guy practically begging for it, and me being starved and stressed out of my mind lately, my self-control drops to absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.

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