Page 37 of Affair

“Perfectly understandable.”

He looked out into the rain-drenched garden and saw scenes from his own past. “I do not conduct scandalous affairs with dashing widows. I do not allow passion to create chaos in my life. I do not become involved in liaisons that may oblige me to defend my paramour’s honor at dawn. I do not conduct outrageous rows with my lover in the center of a crowded ballroom while my five-year-old son watches from the balcony.”

“I can well believe that.”

Baxter’s hand tightened on the windowsill. “I do not sire illegitimate children who must answer the taunts of their companions with their fists. I do not produce offspring who, because they are born on the wrong side of the blanket, are forever denied the lands and the heritage that should have been theirs.”

“In short, Mr. St. Ives, you do not conduct your personal affairs in the same manner in which your parents conducted theirs. Is that what you are telling me?”

“Yes.” What in bloody hell had come over him? Baxter wondered. He gave himself a small mental shake to dispatch the old images. He had never intended to say such things to Charlotte. He never discussed his most personal memories with anyone.

“I congratulate you, sir,” Charlotte said very quietly. “And I admire you.”

He turned so swiftly that he caught the globe with his elbow. The world spun away and plummeted toward the floor. Furious with his uncharacteristic clumsiness and all that it implied about his lack of control, he made a quick grab for the globe. He barely caught it before it struck the carpet.

“Damnation.” Feeling a complete idiot, he concentrated on righting the world and setting it back in place on the sill. Then he looked at Charlotte, who was watching him very intently. “For God’s sake, why do you say that you admire me?”

“You are obviously a man of strong will and great fortitude. You have created your own rules. Although you do not possess the title that should have been yours by right of blood, you do possess honor and courage.”

The sincerity of her words stunned him. To conceal his sense of disorientation, he folded his arms across his chest and propped one shoulder against the wall. He took refuge in cool amusement. “Kind of you to say so.”

“We do have something in common on this score.” Charlotte touched the ornate silver inkstand on her desk. “It is not only illegitimate offspring who must sometimes stand by and watch as their inheritance is stolen. My sister and I lost most of what should have been ours to my mother’s second husband.”

“Winterbourne.”

“Yes.” Charlotte’s mouth tightened. “Whenever I think of all the things that Ariel has missed because of him, of all the things I could never give her, I … well, I’m sure you understand.”

He watched her closely. “So long as we are being completely honest with each other, I should confess that I have a great deal of admiration for you, also.”

She looked up quickly. “You do?”

“I’m aware that there are not many options available to a lady who finds herself cast adrift with a young sister to support. I’m impressed by what you have accomplished.”

She gave him a small, surprised smile. “Thank you, Mr. St. Ives. Coming from you, such a compliment is gratifying, indeed.”

“And given my deep admiration,” he continued deliberately, “I’m certain you can comprehend why I do not intend to allow you to destroy your reputation in this venture.”

The moment of mutual understanding that had flashed between them vanished with the speed of a magician’s illusion.

Charlotte glared. “You are attempting to manipulate me, sir.”

“I’m trying to convince you with logic and reason. If you are correct in your belief that Drusilla Heskett was murdered by one of her suitors, then that man may well be someone who moves in the Polite World. Correct?”

“Yes, all but one of Mrs. Heskett’s recent suitors were members of the ton,” she said impatiently. “Mr. Charles Dill was the only one who did not move in Society, and as I told you, he died of a heart seizure nearly two weeks before Mrs. Heskett was murdered.”

“Indeed. Then one of those whose suspicions might well be aroused by uncharacteristic behavior on my part could well be her killer.”

Charlotte opened her mouth and then closed it quickly. She grimaced. “You may be correct.”

“Therefore, given my personal inclination to avoid scandal and gossip and your desire not to ruin the chance of future business, we are left with only the one alternative. We shall announce our engagement. It will give us the perfect excuse for going about in Society while we conduct our inquiries.”

A short, tense silence gripped the room.

“We?” Charlotte repeated very politely.

“You are still determined to track down Drusilla Heskett’s killer, are you not?”

“She was a client who may have been killed because I failed to uncover certain crucial information.” Charlotte drew a deep breath. “I owe her some justice.”

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