Page 12 of Love Potion

“He’s getting married.”

I notice the dip in his voice even as he tries to sound nonchalant about the news. “Oh. How did that feel to hear?”

He shrugs again, reaching up to brush his hair off his forehead. “Fine. I don’t have feelings for him. I guess…” Jerryn pauses for a second.

I stay quiet, waiting for him to process his thoughts. He needs to sometimes.

“It’s weird,” he says. “You know how I feel about marriage.”

“Yeah. Did it make you sad?”

“Not sad, just wondering if…” He sighs instead of finishing his thought.

“Wondering if it’ll happen for you?”

He nods, his gaze on his hands in his lap.

I’d marry him tomorrow if I had the fucking nerve to tell him how I feel. But I need more than nerve. I know Jerryn inside and out, and he needs to see it to believe it, whatever it is. He’d think it was about pity, and that’s the last thing I ever want him believing.

“Do you remember the summer after we moved to Seattle?”

Jerryn looks up, a slight smile on his face. “Every minute. We had so much fun exploring the city.”

“We did. Remember the night we went to that little park by the apartment and we saw those two guys get engaged after the concert?”

He nods. “Oh yeah. That was sweet. What made you think of that?”

“You and I talked about romance and relationships and marriage that night.”

Jerryn nods. “We did.”

“And you told me all about what your dream partner would be like.”

He smiles. “I remember.”

“I think we should revisit that conversation.”

He tilts his head. “Why?”

“It’s been twenty years. What’s changed or evolved? Let’s put it out into the universe.”

His smile fades. “We were just kids then.”

“Exactly why we should revisit it.” I take his hand in mine, gently squeezing it. “It’s never too late, Jerr. You never know what might be around the corner. Look at what’s happened with our friends.”

He searches my eyes, and after a few seconds, he nods. “Okay. I’ll play along, but you have to do the same. Back then your idea of a perfect relationship was not having one.”

Chuckling, I nod. “Fair. I was such a player, wasn’t I?”

“No reason not to be. Maybe I would’ve been one too if… you know.”

“Nah, it’s not your nature.” I play with his fingers. “You have a soft heart, which is a compliment, in case you didn’t get it.”

He smiles softly. “Thanks. You go first.”

“Okay.” I take a deep breath, searching for words instead of just blurting out that it would be him. “Ideally, we’d be friends first.”

Jerryn looks slightly surprised for a second, but he nods.

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