Page 17 of Love Potion

“Fruit is nice,” Bane says. “Tart and sweet, goes down easy but packs a punch. Reminds me of the college days and those fruit juice tasting shots we would knock back. Remember those, Jerr?”

“Sex on the beach. I remember. Surprisingly.”

Bane chuckles. “Lucky for us, we had a good crew who always made sure we got back to the dorms safely.”

Florian is grinning as he reaches under the register to grab a notebook. He scrawls something down then grabs his phone and starts scrolling. I go back to unpacking the glasses, quickly forgetting about the drink discussion as the other guys filter into the space.

Oakley went out earlier to get us donuts, and he walks in with those while Kit comes in after walking Stewart to the university. Ridley and Wren are next, hand in hand and gazing at each other with loopy expressions. Indy appears, having finished up some report he was working on in the office.

I smile as I flatten the box. Having all my friends in the same place after all these years feels surreal at times. I count myself lucky. In all the ways we’ve grown and changed, our bond remains tight.

Bane is leaning over the notebook with Florian, the two of them talking softly amid the chorus of other voices. I’m the softest spoken of all of us, but I love the chaos of mixed voices, laughter, people talking over each other, and friendly teasing we share.

As I gather up the empty boxes, I feel Bane’s hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing. I turn my head to look at him, my stomach fluttering with the knowledge that I have to let him go. At least partially. Hopefully, whoever he finds will be okay with our friendship. I couldn’t stand to lose that, though I’m pretty sure I’ll have to give up the cuddle sessions.

“What are your plans after work?” Bane asks.

“That’s a really weird question. What areyourplans?”

Bane chuckles. “That exhibit at the museum you talked about a few weeks ago, the one on the Titanic? It’s leaving in a week. I figured we could head down and check it out. Maybe grab some dinner at Tutto.”

My jaw drops. “Really?”

He nods. “We’ve been working our asses off, and our video games will be there next week, but this exhibit won’t.” He shrugs. “I felt like doing something different too. Wanna go?”

“Do I want to go to the museum and then eat at my favorite Italian restaurant? Uh, yeah.”

Bane laughs as he squeezes my shoulder again. “Good. I think it’ll be fun.”

He walks off, leaving me in stunned silence. Yes, he’s gone along with me to a few museums before, but I know it’s not his favorite way to spend a few hours. He didn’t exactly light up when I told him about the exhibit, so his willingness to go is surprising, but I’ll take it.

Maybe tonight at dinner I can encourage him to get back on the dating apps too, even though the idea kind of makes me sick. But if he’s the kind of friend who will go to a museum for me, then I can be the kind of friend who encourages him to find the love he deserves.

I chew on my bottom lip for a second before pulling my phone out of my pocket. I unlock the screen and navigate to a site I’ve had bookmarked for months but haven’t had the nerve to really dig into. I click on the link for workshops and scroll through the list.

Oh. The next one is three days from now. I should go. I really should. It could help me.

“Why the face?” Ridley asks, bumping his arm against mine. I almost fumble my phone but catch it in time. “Sorry, man. You okay? You look upset.”

“Oh, no. I’m not upset.” I close out the screen so he can’t see what it says. “I was just thinking.”

Ridley nods. “You’re sure?”

I nod. “Yes.”

“Cool.”

He pats my arm and walks off while I pull my phone out again and open the registration page. I’ve had questions about myself for a long time, and stumbling on this workshop a while back feels like the lifeline I need right now.

Maybe sitting through a discussion about natural ways to increase my sex drive will help me find the confidence to start dating again. My dream man might be out there somewhere, waiting for me to show up, but I have to at least try to see if there’s anything I can do to have a normal sex life.

I enter my details, and just before I close out, another screen pops up highlighting a different workshop. This one is about the spectrum of sexuality. I read the description, my eyes snagging on words I haven’t delved into before. Demisexual. Asexual. Gray-asexual. It’s a few nights after the other workshop.

My stomach tightens, and that’s my sign. The nagging feeling in the back of my brain that my sexuality isn’t as simple as gay rises up, poking at me as I stare at my screen. Maybe my drive isn’t low. Maybe it’s something else altogether. There’s only one way to find out.

With my hands shaking, I complete the registration for the second workshop. If I’m going to find a partner, I need to be secure in who I am and what I can offer. If it’s medical, I’ll handle it. If it’s something else, I’ll learn about it. The tension in my belly eases and my shoulders relax. It’s about time I faced this part of my life head on, and if I’m lucky, by the time Bane finds a partner, I’ll be well on my way too.

EIGHT

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