Page 45 of Heart Taker

“Don’t tell me what I already know,” I snapped. “And I don’t care about anyone else. I don’t think about them. I focus on me and I’m going to make it.”

Damien stared at me for a long moment, and I shivered at his turbulent blues. How could one look say so much and affect me like no one else? Why did this man get to me when nothing else did?

“I’m not questioning your ambition,” he added, standing toe to toe with me. “But temper it with realism. Don’t make the mistake I did and make playing your entire reason for being. Because if your plans don’t work out, if something doesn’t go your way and shit happens, you have to find a way to deal with the situation you find yourself in. Hockey doesn’t last forever.”

“Life has already kicked me in the balls one too many times,” I replied bluntly. “I know how to defend myself. And to pick myself up when I fall.”

Damien nodded and started to skate backwards.

“As long as you have a plan,” he returned. “Don’t get blindsided by the potential for fame and big money. It’s great but it’s fleeting. You can easily lose sight of everything.”

I saw the pain on Damien’s face before it turned into an icy mask again.

“Is that what happened with your knee injury?” I asked him. “You didn’t lose hockey, but yourself?”

CHAPTER 14

DAMIEN

“Yes,” I replied without hesitation. “For a while.”

Silas was blunt but spot on. Years ago, I would’ve avoided the difficult questions.

Not anymore.

Instead of heading for the boards, and taking a break myself, I glided forward again.

“It wasn’t only losing my job, the one thing I loved to do, it was everything else that followed,” I admitted, not knowing why this was all spilling out of me, and to Silas of all people. I didn’t like to talk about my injury or the aftermath it caused. Even though my therapist insisted that I had to. Staying silent meant giving my fears power. If I wanted to move on, I had to own my past. “I didn’t realize that some people in my life were only there because of my job, and the money and fame that came with it. Going from a pro player in the best season of my career to never playing again in the blink of an eye was shocking to say the least. You find out real quick who your true friends and family are.”

Silas wiped his face again, put the towel aside, and skated towards me.

“I’m sorry.”

I shrugged. “It’s life. Sometimes you’re dealt a shitty hand. And despite the pain, you gotta find a way to keep going.”

“Don’t I know it,” Silas returned. “My mom passed away when I was thirteen. Cancer. Then a few years later, Josiah got sick, and Dad had a major stroke. I’ve been working my ass off to keep our family together ever since.”

“I didn’t know,” I replied. “I mean, not all of it. I’m sorry, too. I lost my mom when I was six, so I get it. That kind of loss changes you forever.”

Silas nodded. “Trust me when I say that I know what’s important in life. Going pro isn’t going to change that. And even if it doesn’t work out, I’ve got a plan. Hockey might be my ultimate dream, but it’s not the only one.”

I had dreams too, but none of them seemed within reach anymore. Or maybe I was too busy working to think about it. I thought Eloise and I would have kids one day, a family to call our own. But that shattered too when she left me. I didn’t want to put my heart out there again, not for anyone, for what? Only to get it crushed again? No thanks. I’d been so fucking naïve when I looked back. Did she even love me? Or had she been playing me the whole time we were together? So much of our relationship depended on my career, my money, and my celebrity.

I’d never make that mistake again. A broken heart wasn’t worth the pain.

I glanced at Silas, so young, and yet much more mature than I was at his age. He had his priorities in line, even if they came with a side of sarcastic attitude. The guy had a lot riding against him, but he kept on fighting. Every day that passed, I admired him more and more.

“That’s good. At least one of us has their shit together,” I finally replied, my voice hoarse.

The longer I stared at him, the harder my heart raced, and my hands began to tremble.

“You’re an amazing coach, Damien. And that’s something to be proud of.”

Why did he have to keep using my first name? I liked it way too much. No, more than that. I was becoming addicted to it.

“I’ve had four coaches since I started playing, and none of them pushed me like you do,” Silas continued. “I mean that in the best way. You challenge me. That’s what I need. Other coaches ignored me because I wasn’t a star player. They didn’t want to spend the time to help me get better. They didn’t see me or my potential. But you do.”

I was payingtoomuch attention to Silas and that was the problem.

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