Page 52 of Heart Taker

When I pulled into the hospital parking lot, my phone pinged again.

I tapped on it, assuming it was Josiah. Instead, it was a text from Damien.

Damien: Despite the late start, you did good. Keep it up.

It wasn’t a major endorsement, but I’d take it.

CHAPTER 16

DAMIEN

Dane and the rest of the guys kept asking why Silas left early but it wasn’t my place to tell them what was going on. I said he had a family emergency and left it at that. Admittedly, I was distracted the rest of the afternoon. My mind should’ve been focused on my job. Instead, I was worrying about Silas and his brother.

Like I would be with any of my players.

Right. Sure.

My inability to get my head in the game didn’t begin to describe how fucked up I was. I looked out for all my players but there was something about Silas that was different. He challenged me like no one else and made me feel things I had no business feeling. The professional line was blurring again.

No, that wasn’t right. I had no idea where it was anymore.

Like this morning, and then during lunch when Silas made those porn-worthy moans as he ate. Did he even realize what he was doing? The rational part of me said no fucking way but the teasing glint in his eye told me I needed to be very careful.

It was only day one. How was I going to make it another six weeks?

After another hour on the ice, I called it a day. When all the guys headed off to the locker room, I texted Dave and suggested we head to Burlington tonight. I needed a drink, a good meal, and a distraction. When Dave replied that he already had plans, I let out a groan of frustration. I thought about asking someone else, but I realized that I didn’t have anyone to ask. I was friendly with several teachers at the college, but they were off on their summer vacations. It was time for me to expand my social circle. I’d been putting all my energy and time into this team, and there was nothing left.

Fuck it. I’d go out by myself. Lots of people did the same. Flying solo wasn’t anything to be ashamed of.

I tapped on my phone and began searching for bars in nearby towns. Nothing stood out. One place was rated tops for “date night.” Uh, no thanks, I didn’t want to be surrounded by couples in love. I wanted to sit and enjoy a beer and maybe watch a game. Or listen to live music, that’d be cool too. Someplace I’d never been to. Maybe I’d even practice my flirting with a stranger. Not that I had any game when it came to that anymore, but it was worth trying.

Suddenly I was typing “gay bars,” surprising myself. If Selwin could see me now, he’d be laughing his ass off. Then again, he’d be the first to cheer me along and he’d also love to be my wingman for the night.

What am I doing?I had no freaking clue.

Questions about my sexuality had haunted me since Chicago. Was it finally time for me to find out if my previous experience with a guy was a one off? There was only one way to find out for sure. I searched for queer bars near Burlington and found a few. One was a dance club, so I gave that a hard pass. But the second one I found was a pub with great reviews for the atmosphere and the food. That sounded perfect. I could grab a meal, and it would be an easy drive to get there. It was far enough away fromcampus, too, so it was unlikely I’d run into anyone I knew there. I could get some answers, and who knows? Maybe I’d get lucky too.

Then maybe this intense attraction I had to Silas would finally get the fuck gone.

Resolved, I headed for my office, locked up, and exited the rink to a deserted parking lot. The drive to Burlington gave me enough time to think. Probably too much. I was tempted several times to turn back. Nerves got the best of me, but I kept on driving.

When I finally arrived at my destination, Unicorn & Ale, I sat in my car for almost twenty minutes, unable to move. The bar was one of several historic buildings on this stretch of road in the town proper. Outside of the rainbow flags hanging near the door, the place looked like any other storefront in the neighborhood. I watched people walking in and out of the place, laughing and talking.

Why couldn’t I go inside? Why was I so nervous?

Damien: SOS personal shit.

I only had to wait a few seconds for Selwin to respond.

Selwin: You’re lucky it’s off season. What’s happening?

Damien: I’m about to venture into a gay bar in Burlington.

Selwin: R u serious??

I snapped a picture of the place and sent it to him.

Selwin: Damn, I wish I was there.

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