Page 62 of Man Advantage

When he said my boys thought the world of me, I could take that to the bank.

Eyes stinging, I smiled. “Thanks. I… definitely needed to hear that.”

“Any time. And I assume this means you want me to keep sending you all the pictures and videos they tell me to send?”

“Yes, please,” I said. “Send them all.”

“I will. I promise.” He narrowed his eyes. “Including the ones of them imitating Spud the Sparrow, you motherfucker.”

I barked a laugh, which feltsogood. “Do it, and I’ll steal your phone and change all your ringtones to Pirate Bob songs.”

“Oh my God.” He shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You’re a dick.”

“Eh. Don’t act surprised.”

“I’m not.”

I chuckled, grateful for the levity that gave me a chance to pull myself together. The dam wasn’t going to hold, but I wasn’t going to collapse right here in front of my longtime friend.

Clearing my throat, I gestured over my shoulder. “I’m, uh… I need to go eat something. I’ve got practice at noon.”

“Okay.” Cam smiled that adorable smile that I’d missed so much. “You want me to throw something together?”

I didn’t think I had the headspace to cook today, but I shook my head anyway. “Nah. I’ll just grab something quick on my way. And it’s your day off, so…”

He shrugged. “Day off or not, we’re still basically roommates. If you want something, just say so.”

Oh, I wanted something. But I didn’t dare say it out loud.

And after our conversation, I was feeling a little too raw for that anyway. More than anything, I needed a moment to myself, so I quickly bowed out of the conversation to go upstairs.

Alone in my bedroom, I leaned against the door. Without Cam around to see or hear me, I couldn’t hold back all those emotions that had been trying like hell to crash through, and I didn’t try. I didn’t even know why I was this emotional. I wasn’t that kind of guy. Maybe I was just sleep-deprived. Maybe I just really, really missed my kids.

But I was pretty sure it was because what Cam had told me—it had shaken something loose in me.

“No parent is perfect, but the two people whose opinions matter the most think the world of you.”

God. Cam. Way to hit me right in the feels.

For most of my life, I’d wanted nothing more than to be the best hockey player I could be. For the past almost-seven years, all I’d wanted was to be the best dad possible to my two boys. More and more, I’d been terrified that for all I’d succeeded in becoming that hockey player, I was a failure as a father.

I couldn’t make my marriage to their other dad work. I had to hire a nanny to fill in all the time I couldn’t spend with them during my custody weeks. I saw them on FaceTime more than I saw them in person.

I was a fucking awful dad.

But maybe…

Maybe I’d been wrong.

They were excited to see me? They wanted Cam to send me videos of them? They missed me but didn’t resent me?

God. Cam. I needed to hear that. I needed to hear it so damn bad. It hurt to hear it, but it also fixed a lot of cracks that had been driving me insane.

Leaning against my bedroom door, I wiped my eyes and tried to catch my breath, not that it did much good.

This wasn’t the first time I’d cried since my divorce.

But it was the first time they’d been tears of pure, bone-deep relief.

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