Page 18 of In the Stars

“Dammit,” I mutter, scrubbing a hand down my face. My mind can’t seem to shake the images of him on that stage, vomiting and crawling around like he didn’t know what else to do. No one helped until he almost toppled off the stage. It took his bandmates at least half a minute to spring into action, but by that time, it was too late. The footage of him was live streamed for everyone to see.

Even though we haven’t been in contact in close to fifteen years, I still consider him my best friend. The one I always wanted to keep safe, regardless of if he wanted me to or not.

The door to my office opens, and my dad steps in, a sad smile on his face. “Hey, son. How you settling in? I know you’ve been in the building for a while, but you finally moved into my office, where you belong.”

Even though I’ve worked at this firm for a year, I just relocated from my old office down the hall into my father’s. It makes more sense, what with all his files from his old clients—my clients now—already here. But I put off changing offices because it would make my father being retired more real.

I return his smile, though I’m sure it looks anything but happy. My heart hurts, and there’s nothing I can do about it. “Since it used to be your office and I spent a lot of time here, I’d say fairly well.”

My dad retired from the law firm he started lastyear, and I stepped into his shoes. I might not be able to fill them as well as he does, but I’m going to try to make him proud.

That sad, haunted look enters his eyes, and I know what he’s going to say before he does. “Your mother would be proud.”

My lips tremble, but I fight back the urge to shed the tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. It’s been six years since Mom died, and every day it feels as if it were just yesterday. She lived long enough to see me enter law school, where she told me she was more than proud to see me achieve my dreams.

“I know she would, Dad,” I say in a voice thick with emotion. “I know she would.” I clear my throat and paste a phony grin on my face. “Why are you here, old man? Came back to take your office?”

He barks a thin laugh. “Fat chance of that. I just came to check on you. See if you wanted to have lunch with your dad before you get too swamped with cases to join me.”

I round the desk and throw my arms around his wide but feeble shoulders. “You never let work get in the way of spending time with us. I won’t either. You taught me well.”

That’s one thing I can say about my father. He never let his busy schedule interfere with being with me and Mom. He might have had some late nights and early mornings on occasion, but he was present. He wasthere.I had everything I needed growing up.

So why have I felt so hollow all these years?

Dad and I go to our favorite Thai restaurant and after the server comes to our table, we put in our order.

“How is retirement treating you?” I ask, threading my fingers together on the table.

He shakes his head with a small grin. “Good. Still can’tsleep in. I’ve been waking up at seven thirty every morning since I hung it up. Maybe one day.”

“Doubtful. You’ve had the same schedule since I was five, so it’ll be hard.”

“Yeah, it might at that.”

Dad sighs. Something is on his mind. I know him well. He’s the one that taught me how to read people. “What is it?”

His eyes flick up to mine. “You’ve heard about Wesley?” I nod, that fist-sized boulder lodged in my throat again. “Jax, his mom died this morning.”

My gaze flicks up to his. “What? How do you know?”

He blows out a long breath. “She had me listed as her next of kin, I’m not sure why. She had hepatitis C. According to her records, she tried to get in touch with Wesley when she got sick, but he refused her call. Not that I blame the kid.”

Dad told me the extent of Wesley’s abuse only about a year after he left when I confronted him with a rumor I heard around town. Where I thought he was only beaten—which is bad enough—Dad said that was only the half of it. The doctors found semen in his rectum, along with tears and fissures that suggested he was assaulted only the night before. Meaning when he came over, he had just been raped by Perry.

I knew there was something different about that night, but I wouldn’t have guessed it was that bad. And I betrayed his trust and sent him home, where he nearly beat Perry to death and ended up in another state, thousands of miles away. But not before telling me he was done with me. We never spoke again.

Maybe I did the right thing, but my heart still doesn’t feel as if I did.

Dad reads my mind. He places his hand on one of mine. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t know what happened after he left, but you saved him from more of the abuse.”

“Don’t make me out a hero, Dad.”

“I’m not, kid. You did what you could. It was his mother’s place to protect him.” He gives my hands two pats and withdraws as our food is placed in front of us. “I need to travel to Los Angeles to tell Wesley about his mother. I called his manager to inform him, but he’s out of the country and can’t get back anytime soon.”

“I’ll do it,” I say quickly. I’m not sure why. Before he left and all that shit went down, Wesley said he didn’t want me in his life anymore. I thought he was at his worst then. Now, in rehab, I’m sure he’s at rock bottom and wouldn’t want me to see him like that.

But I need to. I need to set eyes on him so I’m assured, even though he’s fighting for sobriety, that he’s safe. That he’swhole.

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