Page 88 of In the Stars

That’s when I lose it.

Hard, heavy sobs rack my body, tears I’ve kept pent-up since the doctors told me Wesley was dead, tears I kept pent-up while I planned his funeral, tears I kept pent-up while I did his hair in the stylish ponytail he grew to love, tears I kept pent-up when the funeral director rolled his casket inside and opened the lid flow out of me in heavy bursts, inhuman noises leaving my throat.

My hurt and pain all comes tumbling out, and I become lightheaded from the force of my sobs.

Hands grab at me to comfort me, but I only want my dad. I only want to be comforted by him, the only person who knows what it’s like to lose the love of their life. The only person who understands that I want to fucking die to escape the pain. To get away from the knowledge that I have to live my life without my husband.

When I’ve calmed down enough to see past my tears, I say, “I need…to say good-bye.”

“Okay, Jaxon,” Dad says in a rough voice. “Hold on to me, kid. I won’t let you go.”

He walks me to the casket so I can say my final goodbyes, holding me up when I fear my legs will collapse under me.

Bending down, I gently kiss my soulmate’s cheek and whisper, “I’ll always love you, Wesley. Always. Wait for me, okay? I’ll find you in the stars.”

NEWS REPORT

Fans of the rock band Lana’s Mischief are still reeling and in mourning from the death of lead vocalist, Ryder, the stage name for Wesley Morgan.

Morgan and Lana’s Mischief were putting on their last concert when he was shot and killed by ex-bandmate, Tech, the stage name for Wendel Carpenter.

After Morgan entered a second stint in a drug rehabilitation center, Carpenter started to release a tell-all book, detailing the night Morgan relapsed on drugs and alcohol. But after the whistle was blown on his claims, those close to him said he stewed in his loss of celebrity and plotted revenge on Morgan.

The night of the concert, Carpenter left behind a note with his then-girlfriend, detailing his plans to murder every member of Lana’s Mischieffor ruining his life.

Carpenter was shot and killed by armed security after shooting Morgan, ending his night of terror before it could have gotten much worse.

Other injuries, however, occurred. Three concertgoerssuffered serious injuries after being trampled by the crowd trying to escape. There were more than fifty minor injuries.

Officials are still unsure how Carpenter managed to get a gun into the stadium, past the metal detectors and body searches. The security company is currently under investigation.

Bandmates Mitch, stage name for Mitchell Douglass, and Kas, stage name for Kaspian Knox, were unharmed.

Flowers and tributes for Morgan line the sidewalk in front of the stadium, even one month later.

Jaxon Morgan, husband to Wesley Morgan of only one month, could not be reached for comment. Our condolences go out to him and his family during this troubling time. We here at KWSY hope they take solace that the culprit is no longer able to hurt anyone else.

THIRTY-THREE

JAXON

Days passby both too fast and too slow. I don’t know what to do with myself half the time, trudging through our house hopelessly.

Everything is so empty without Wesley here, my world so much darker. Nothing holds joy for me anymore. I can barely get out of bed without crying until I make myself sick.

Kas and Mitch have stayed with me for the past month, ensuring I eat and shower, even though half the time I want to tell them to fuck off. The only reason I don’t is because I know they love Wesley too, and they’re only trying to help.

But I don’t want their help. I want my husband.

Even sleeping in the bed we shared fills me with such sadness I think I’ll lose my sanity as I wallow in my despair. Nothing brings me peace, even knowing Tech is dead. He deserved nothing less, but I wish he didn’t take my Wes with him.

A soft knock sounds at the bedroom door, and with effort, I turn over and tell whoever it is tocome in.

Mitch pokes his head inside, giving me a soft smile. “Hey, how you feeling?”

“The same way I felt yesterday.”

“I get that. Listen, can I come in?”

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