Page 15 of Misery In Me

God, I’m so fucked up.

“I... uh... I was wondering if you needed any help with anything,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.

I’m not sure what to say or how to respond. Part of me wants to tell her to come in, to join me in the shower and to finish whatI’ve started. But another part of me is screaming to keep her out, to protect her from the raw, primal desire that’s coursing through my veins.

I would destroy that poor girl’s heart, her pussy, and the great thing we have going for Zoe.

I stand there, paralyzed with indecision. Alejandra speaks up again. “Gage? Are you okay? You’ve been in there for a while. It’s nearly eight.”

Her words are like a splash of cold water, and I’m suddenly aware of how ridiculous this situation is. I’m standing in the shower, jerking off while talking to the nanny through the door.

I take a deep breath and try to compose myself. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I say, trying to sound somewhat calm and collected. “I’ll be out in a sec.”

There’s a pause on the other side of the door, and for a moment, I wonder if Alejandra has left. But then she speaks up again.

“Okay... well... if you’re sure you’re okay...”

Her voice trails off, and I can sense her hesitation. She’s not sure what’s going on, but she knows something is off.

Just your boss being a total fucking perv and fucking his hand to the thoughts of your pretty face and perfect body.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps walking away from the door.

As soon as I’m sure she’s gone, I let out a sigh of relief and finish. Imagining that I’m balls deep in her cunt and she takes every single inch of me as I come. The release is intense but also fleeting, coating the tiled wall in front of me. When it’s over, I’m left feeling guilty and ashamed.

I just came to the thought of my daughter’s nanny. Imagining it was her I was fucking.What the fuck is wrong with me?

Turning off the shower and stepping out into the cool air of my bedroom, I know things are about to get complicated.

FIVE

ALEJANDRA

I stand at the kitchen counter, my fingers idly tracing the rim of my coffee cup. My eyes shift back to Gage, his broad frame moving with purpose as he packs the last of his gear. The hum of the kitchen light fills the space, but the tension drowns everything else out. Watching him prepare to leave, knowing he’s taking his first real step away from Zoe, it feels... different and strange. It feels heavier than any other deployment I’ve dealt with.

His boots thud softly against the hardwood floor as he paces back and forth, grabbing his jacket, adjusting his boots, and checking the zip of his ruck. He doesn’t need to check it again—he’s done this a hundred times, if not more—but I don’t think he’s doing it for the bag.

I want to reassure him it’s okay. That it’ll be fine.That Zoe will be fine.But the words don’t come easily. How do you reassure someone when they’re worried about something you can’t promise won’t happen?

I would never let anything happen to her.

I watch as Gage re-packs his bag, his movements efficient and practiced. He’s leaving for a short field exercise, somethingto help his team work better together, and I’ll be here with Zoe. I feel a mix of emotions: excitement to be taking on more responsibility but also a hint of nervousness.

What if something goes wrong? Not that I’m unsure of myself as her caregiver. I know I’m more than capable.

But what if something happens to him?

Would someone let me know?

Gage gives me a brief rundown of what he knows of the schedule and emergency contacts. He gives me a number for Rebecca Morales, telling me she’s the wife of a friend and a unit member and will help if I need it. I listen intently to everything he tells me. On instinct, I rub my palms up and down my thighs, my nerves betraying me. He seems to sense my unease and offers a reassuring smile.

“You’ll be fine, Alejandra,” he says. “You’re fantastic with her. Just remember to keep the doors locked and the phone nearby. Have you given more thought to keeping your gun on you, or at least accessible while you’re downstairs?”

“I have. I just think with some more practice, it would be good for me to keep it down here.”

“When I get back, if I have some extra time, I’ll bring you to the range on base so you can practice.” Gage gives me a rare smile, one that’s going to stay ingrained in my brain the whole time he’s gone. Living with this man has my poor vibrator getting a workout. I’m just hoping he can’t hear me using it at night or when I’m in the shower.

Unlike the day I caught him after PT. I knew exactly what he was doing and the noises that came out of that man led me straight into his room.

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