Page 41 of Misery In Me

“It’s purely to appease my caveman-like tendencies to see you in my clothes, smelling like you’re mine, that’s all.” Hesmiles as he kisses me. “Okay, I’ll get baby girl a bottle and bring her to you. Then I’ll head out.”

Gage pulls on some underwear, clean basketball shorts, and a shirt, then leaves the room. I can hear him on the baby monitor as he enters Zoe’s nursery and what I hear makes my heart burst.

“Zoe Jane, you’ve got the best mama in the entire world, do you know that? Daddy’s gonna make sure he does everything in his power to make sure he doesn’t fuck this up.”

SIXTEEN

ALEJANDRA

You’re crazy, Ale.

Certifiably. But honestly, I’ll live with the insanity if it means I get to spend every day with him and Zoe for the rest of my life. When Gage brought me Zoe before he left, I couldn’t help but fall even more for him. What I overheard on the baby monitor and the look on his face as he handed her to me, watching me cradle her to my chest, stole my heart.

Everything is moving so fast and I need to slow down for just a second to figure things out. For my brother and sister, because it’s not like I can just abandon my responsibility towards them because I’m trying to live for me, too. I don’t expect Gage to keep paying me if we’re in a relationship, so I’m going to have to figure out a way to make some money while caring for Zoe. Time to call myTiato check in and give her a heads up, to let her know things might be changing until I get the money situation figured out.

This should go well.

The video call rings as I wait for her to pick up. Zoe coos next to me on the bed, looking up at me while I hum to her. Thevideo picks up and while the connection is grainy, I can hear everything perfectly well.

“¡Pedro! ¡Juanita! Tu hermana está en el video.”

Appearing next to myTiaare my sister and brother, smiles plastered on their faces as they wave. “Hi guys! How is everything?”

“It’s good.” My sister gives me a fake smile and I already know I’m about to get sandbagged.Tiasits there with her lips pursed and she has this hard stare pointed directly at me.

“Díselo, Pedro.”My Tia nudges him, and I watch my brother’s shoulders drop.

“Tianeeds you to come back for my graduation in May. I already have a job lined up but they said I can’t stay a month past graduation. I’m gonna need your help in getting a place, but after that, I’ll be good on my own.” This would happen.

Shit! I don’t know how I’ll be able to swing this with Zoe. Gage could have to leave for deployment at a moment's notice, especially if he gets cleared at his check-up next week. I feel the pressure building in my chest as I try to come up with a way to tell them this might not be possible.

“Tia, I don’t know if that’s going to be a possibility. Things are...esta complicado ahorita.I’d have to bring my... the little girl I care for. I don’t know how I would work that out.” I bite my lip and while my siblings don’t seem fazed, myTialooks livid.

“Alejandra, los acogí porque no podían venir a Estados Unidos contigo. Asumí la carga. Tienes una obligación con ellos. Tienes suerte de que los tomé.”

I would give anything to not feel hopeless right now. The deep-seated guilt that blooms in my chest knowing that I don’t have the ability to come and get them and provide for them here breaks my heart.

The door downstairs opens and I hear Gage setting his keys down on the mail table. I don’t want to be having thisconversation with my Tia when he comes in. That would be awkward and mean I would have to explain why I’m in my boss's bed with his daughter.My daughter.

“Tia, I’ll have to call you back; I need to get back to Zoe.” Before I can say goodbye to Pedro and Juanita, she shoos them away, and I swallow hard from the look she gives me.

“Ale, I’m back.” Gage pushes the door open and sees that I’m on the phone. “Oh, shit. Sorry. Here, let me take Zoe so you can talk.” He crosses the room, and the whole time my Tia narrows her eyes at me as I sit still.

Please don’t say anything. Please don’t give her a reason to...

“Baby girl and I will start getting lunch put together; we’ll see you downstairs,Hermosa.”

Fuck.

When Gage closes the door behind him, I part my lips to speak but nothing comes out. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The only thing I can think of to explain is to tell the truth. I’m a grown woman and I deserve to be happy.

I deserve this.

“Supongo que esa es una manera de asegurarte de que tengas trabajo. Quieres ganar tu dinero como una puta, Alejandra? Eso es asunto tuyo. Pero si tu no te aseguras que tus hermanos esten bien, yo ya no voy a cuidar de ellos. Tu padre, habra sido mi hermano, pero no es mi trabajo criar a sus hijos.”

“Tía, me preocupo por él y su hija. No sólo me acuesto con él.” How dare she call me a whore. All I’ve ever done is give her everything she’s ever asked of me. This is what I get.

“Lo que tú digas. Entonces te está utilizando y eres demasiado estúpida para darte cuenta, Alejandra. Los hombres sólo toman, así que no esperes que él te ame.”

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