Page 47 of Misery In Me

“Lead the way.”

NINETEEN

GAGE

“Top,” I stand before Master Sergeant Romano, waiting with a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I’m not ready to go back.

“Gunny, you look good. I got your clearance paperwork in from the docs.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“I’m getting married today.” I blurt it out and I know it’s unprofessional as fuck, but I’m looking for anything that will stall the inevitable.

Romano’s eyes widen in surprise. “Close the door and take a seat.”

I close the door and take a deep breath before I turn around and take a seat in the chair in front of his desk. “Sir.”

“Cut the bullshit, Gage. You... getting married? Is it your kid’s mom?” Romano leans back in his chair, waiting for me to answer.

“No. Hell fucking no. I’ve got court in a few days to deal with that situation.” Thank God for that too. Hopefully, with Ale being my wife, it will all go over smoothly with the judge.

“Well, don’t leave me in suspense, fucker. Who is she? Wait,” he pauses. “This isn’t a Di Marco situation, is it?”

I let out a laugh. I will never forget the Di Marco situation. After a ninety-six, Di Marco came back on base married to a stripper named Ivana, saying he was in love.

“Nah, nothing like that.”

“Well, then enlighten me. For a guy I’ve known for four years and have never even heard you breathe a word about settling down, forgive me for being confused.” Romano stares at me, and I decide to just lay it all out.

“It’s the woman I hired to take care of Zoe. Alejandra. She’s…”Amazing. Beautiful. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman and more.

“...everything.” The word slips out, and I instantly regret it. I feel my cheeks warm with embarrassment, and I shift uncomfortably in the chair. Romano’s eyes narrow as he watches me closely, the familiar look of skepticism forming on his face.

“Are you sure about this, Gage?” he asks, his voice losing some of its usual edge but still laced with a hint of concern. "Look, I’m all for you settling down and being happy but your nanny? You know this isn’t the same as some quick fling, right? This is serious.”

I run a hand through my hair, trying to collect my thoughts. I should’ve expected this, but I wasn’t ready for Romano’s probing. All I know is that I need her. I need her more than I need to breathe. Ale makes me feel a little less broken. She makes mefeel.

“I know, man. Trust me. I didn’t expect any of this to happen, but... things just... fell into place.” I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees, trying to make him understand. “Alejandra is great with Zoe. The moment I saw her interact with my daughter, I knew she was something special. She’s not just some... woman I hired to babysit. Alejandra is smart andcompassionate, and she gets me. She understands what I’m going through. The whole fucking mess with Zoe’s birth mom and the custody shit. She’s been my rock these last few months, and I—I need her.”

Romano’s gaze softens, and I can tell he’s trying to make sense of it all. It’s probably a lot for him to take in. Hell, it’s a lot for me to take in too, but the thought of Alejandra in my life, officially, makes everything feel just... right. Even if I wasn’t expecting it to happen like this.

“You sure you’re not rushing this?” He asks, his tone quieter now, less like a senior staff NCO and more like a concerned friend. “I mean, I get that things regarding Zoe are complicated, but marriage is a hell of a commitment, Gage. It’s not something you just jump into because of a kid.”

I nod, knowing deep down he’s right. But it’s not just about Zoe, is it? It’s about me too. It’s about wanting someone in my corner who doesn’t look at me like a failure. Someone who sees me for who I am, all the flaws and mistakes included, but still wants to stand by me. Someone who can make me laugh when the world feels like it’s falling apart.

That’s Alejandra.

“I know,” I admit, my voice lowering, almost like I’m confessing something. “But I’m tired, Romano. Tired of fucking up. Tired of pretending like I don’t need someone. I’ve tried to do this alone for so long, but I can’t keep doing it. I need her, man. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I need her more than I’ve needed anyone in a long time. The idea of a quick fuck to fill the need just feels wrong. When I look at her, all I see is someone I want to grow old with.”

Romano takes a long breath, his eyes still locked on me. For a moment, I’m not sure if he’s going to give me shit or offer some words of wisdom. Instead, he leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “I get it,” he says, and I can tell he’s not justsaying it to placate me. “But don’t fuck this up, Gage. Don’t drag her into your shit if you’re not ready to really commit. You don’t get to play games with her heart just because you’re in a rough spot. She deserves better than that.”

“I know that,” I reply, my voice firm. “I’m not going to hurt her. I wouldn’t. I swear to you, Romano, this is real. I’m doing this because I want to. Because I need to. Because she’s the one. I... I can’t keep going back to the way things were. I’m done with that.”

There’s a silence that hangs between us before Romano finally uncrosses his arms and leans forward. “Alright. Then do it. Don’t screw it up.”

I nod, the realization of his words settling in. There’s no going back now, no matter how scared I feel. Alejandra and I are already knee-deep in this. I don’t know how the hell it’ll work, but I’m going to give it my all. She deserves that. Zoe deserves her. Hell, I deserve her too.

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