Page 9 of Misery In Me

“Thank you.” There’s something between us now. A tension I didn’t expect. His eyes linger on Zoe, and I wonder if he sees what I do—the loss, the absence of her mother, the load of responsibility pressing on us both.

But then his gaze flicks back to me, cold and calculating, and I know that I’m not supposed to get too close.

He’s the father. I’m the nanny. That’s all this is.

Just do your job, Ale.

“So,do you need help to bring your things inside?” Gage shifts uncomfortably. “I can grab them out of your car while you get acquainted with Zoe.”

I can see the weariness in him, in the way he stands, the tension in his shoulders. It’s subtle, but it’s there, like a quiet storm simmering beneath the surface. There’s something about him—something that speaks of battles fought, both outside and within. I can’t imagine what he’s going through. A man like him, a Marine, taking on all this responsibility by himself. It must be exhausting.

But I also know that I don’t have the luxury to ask questions or to get close. This job is strictly professional. I need it. I’m here to care for his daughter.

Nothing more.

I nod, trying to keep my voice steady. “I would appreciate that very much, sir.”

I reach into my pocket, pulling out my keys and handing them over to him. My fingers brush his, just for a second, and I feel a tiny jolt of something that I don’t want to acknowledge.

He takes the key without hesitation, but his eyes flicker to mine for a brief moment, as though searching for something. His face is unreadable; his expression hard. There’s a flicker of something behind those eyes, but it’s gone before I can name it.

“Right. I’ll be quick,” he says. His voice is still tight, and he gives me a sharp nod before turning toward the door.

I watch him go, my thoughts drifting back to the baby in the swing.Zoe.I’m here to take care of her, to protect her. But already, something stirs inside me—a sense of responsibility, a pull that’s deeper than just doing a job.

You cannot do this to yourself, Ale.

The house feels colder without Gage in it, the silence pressing in from all sides. I glance around the room, still taking in the sharp lines of the furniture and the immaculate space. It feels like a place where nothing is allowed to be out of place, a place where Gage is in control of everything. But what about his daughter?

The thought makes me pause.

I turned back to her. She’s still asleep, but her tiny hands twitch again. I sit beside her, the rocking motion of the swing almost hypnotic. For a moment, I forget that I’m just the nanny, the hired help. It’s just me and this little girl who needs someone to show her what it means to be loved.

The door opens again, and I look up to find Gage standing there with a few of my totes and my large duffel suitcase. His eyes scan the room briefly before landing on me.

“Everything good?” He asks, his voice gruff but not unkind.

I nod quickly, forcing myself back into professional mode. “Yes, sir. Just getting situated."

He eyes me for a moment, his gaze flicking to Zoe and then back to me. I wonder what he’s thinking. Does he see how carefully I’m handling his daughter and how my heart’s in this even though I’m trying not to let it show?

I stand up from the swing and move toward the entryway where he’s left my things. The bag feels heavier than it should, though it’s just clothes and a few toiletries. I felt the gravity of the situation sink into my bones, a chilling weight settling deep within my soul. This isn’t just me moving into a new place. I’m stepping into a life that’s not mine, trying to fit into a world that doesn’t quite know how to welcome me.

“Do you need me to help with anything around the house while she sleeps?” I ask him, though it feels strange, offering help after he’s just brought everything in.

He shakes his head. “No, I’ve got it. You’ll be taking care of Zoe. She’s your priority.”

His words are so cold, so detached, but there’s something in them that makes my chest tighten. It’s the way he says it—like this is all business. Gage is already distancing himself. He’s a man who has learned to shut things off.

And I don’t blame him. I can see now how hard it must be to be a single father who's on active duty. How easy it would be to shut everyone out, to live with a wall between you and the world.

I force a smile, though it feels a bit strained. “Understood, sir. I’ll get started with Zoe. You don’t have to worry about that.”

His nod is brief, but he doesn’t move toward the door. Instead, he stands there for a moment, like he’s waiting for something or maybe trying to figure out what to do next.

Finally, he speaks again. “If you need anything—anything at all—don’t hesitate to ask. You’re here for Zoe, but we will be living around each other when I’m here. I can order something for dinner tonight and we can talk about the logistics of everything.”

“Of course,” I say quickly, my voice steady, but my insides churn. “I’m fine with whatever you like, and please let me know my share of the cost.”

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