Page 45 of Tag

He gave a casual shrug, eyes still on the road. “Nowhere in particular. You know driving helps clear my mind. I tracked your location first to make sure you were home, and when I saw you weren’t, my destination became you.”

“Thank you,” I said softly.

He shook his head. “You never need to thank me for the bare minimum, Sass.”

I smiled at that, then frowned, replaying what he’d said. “If you were going on a drive, something’s wrong.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s wrong.” A beat of silence. “Do you have a problem with me dating Brooke?”

My whole body stiffened. “What?That’swhat’s bothering you?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Why would I have a problem with that? Not only is she a baddie, but Brooke’s all-around great. She’s nice and seems to truly care about you.”

The words tasted like sand mixed with glass. Wrong. In every damn way and never meant to be in my mouth. He stayed unnerving quiet for what felt like forever after that, his fingers drumming against the steering wheel.

“I just wanted to see if you’d lie to me again.”

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting him to say, but it wasn’t that. Oh,fuck you, universe. Fuck you for dangling everything I wanted right in front of my face, knowing exactly how catastrophic it would be to reach for it. In another life, I wouldn’t hesitate. I’d grab onto him and never let go. I wouldn’t have to love him in the way that I do now.

But this wasn’t that life.

I had to say these next words, get them out before I lost my nerve. “Ryder,” I began, my voice steady despite the tremor building in my chest. “I’m not lying. Brooke is beautiful inside and out. She’s kind, smart, and she looks good beside you. Better than anyone else ever has. There’s a reason she’s the first real girlfriend I can remember you having since Ellie.”

“Are you saying you’re not any of those things?” He kept going before I could answer. “I can tell you right now, you’re all of that and so much more.”

I looked away. If I didn’t, I’d cave. “You know why this can’t happen, Rye. It’s not about Ashton. It’s not even about Brooke.” I pushed forward before I could stop myself. “You need someone who’ll stop you from being… you.”

God, that sounded awful. It hurt so damn badly saying that to him. I would never stand in the way of his authentic self. I adored every flawed, dangerous, twisted part of him. That was the crux of everything. The ugly, glaring truth of why I tried so hard to keep up this exhausting pretense of only being his friend. One of my worst fears was becoming an enabler. Despite often trying my best, I wasn’t the girl who’d always pull him back from the edge. I had loved him too long in the dark to demand he stay in the light.

It had taken everything, so much time, to get him to who he could pretend to be now. I didn’t care that he would ruin me if we ever let us happen, but I refused to be the reason he ruined himself.

“You mean she’s naïve enough to believe who I am, even when I’m pretending. Even when it’s just us.” His glance in my direction was fleeting but hollow. “That’s the kind of girl who never notices the worst of someone until it’s too late. You think I couldn’t keep her in the dark forever if I wanted to?”

I flinched. “I hadn’t thought of that, no.”

The silence that followed wasn’t cold. It was suffocating. He pulled into my driveway without another word, the truck rumbling beneath us before falling into a weighted hush. I reached for my bag on the floorboard, fingers brushing the strap, when his hand shot out and clamped down on my shoulder, not in a painful way, but unyielding. He leaned over and snatched the bag himself, and when he looked up, the warmth I always relied on, the affection I’d come to read in his eyes—even at his worst—was gone.

What stared back at me was something unreadable, laced with what I could only describe as unhinged focus. I don’t know why, but the advice about handling predators from a documentary me and the girls got sucked into at 3 a.m. last weekend popped into my head. Ryder would never, in a million years, hurt me.

Still…

My brain served up flashes of that narrator’s calm, clinical voice:Don’t run. Don’t make sudden movements. Hold your ground. Show them you’re not prey.

The irony almost made me laugh.

Ryder wasn’t a wild animal waiting to pounce. He was my best friend. My person. The boy I’d loved before I even knew what love could turn into, before I knew it could feel like both a curse and a blessing.

“You let that piece of shit get you pregnant?” he asked, voice low, but deadly steady.

I was rightfully fucking baffled.

“You think these are mine? What the hell, Ryder!”

He moved. Fast. His fingers gripped my chin. The pressure wasn’t cruel; it was controlled to make sure I didn’t look away. “Answer me, Sassy.”

Fury ignited in my chest, hot and sharp. I shoved his hand away. “They aren’t mine! Jesus, Ryder. I don’t have unprotected sex, and I’m on birth control.”

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