Page 87 of Tag

Roxxi didn’t miss a beat. “Oh, I know that sigh. What did he do now?”

I reached for two large bowls, setting them down for chips while she layered sandwiches. “It’s not one thing. It’s just, we’re not working. I’ve known it for a while. I think I’ve always known.”

“Because you were never supposed to be with him in the first place,” Roxxi replied, blunt as ever, spreading fresh turkey on thick slices of sourdough.

“Thanks for the reminder.”

She smiled, unbothered. “Am I wrong though? Plus, you’re doing charity work, Sanj.”

“Ashton isn’t ugly,” I shot back, reaching for the chip bags in the far cupboard. “You know he’s cute.”

“Hey, some people like chitlins. I don’t say a thing,” Cloe interjected.

Ari giggled behind her hand, trying not to laugh too loud.

Roxxi cackled, flipping a sandwich onto a plate. “He’s not ugly, but he’s not my type. I get short guys need love too, but he isn’t your type either.” She waved the butter knife at me for emphasis. “Anyway, everyone already sees you and Ryder as endgame.”

“Weren’t we talking about The Hunt? How did this become a me and Ryder thing?” I asked, exasperated.

“Like we haven’t cycled back to this a thousand times?” Cloe deadpanned.

“Ryder has Brooke.”

“That hurt you,” Ari said softly. “Which hurts us, too. You two should’ve been together a long time ago.”

“Ari—seriously, not you too?”

Cloe rested her chin in her hands, still managing to look like a damn goddess with perfect posture while doing it. “Fine. Tell us we’re wrong, and we’ll drop it.”

I stared down at the counter, brushing my fingers on the small dent near the edge. “You’re not wrong, but you also know it’s not that simple.”

“Matters of the heart never are,” Roxxi mused. “That’s why I don’t do ‘em. I fuck 'em and ghost.”

“Oh my god,” I laughed, dumping BBQ chips into a bowl.

Roxxi reached over and popped one into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “Brooke or not, Ryder’s always been about you, hasn’t he?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said quietly. “I can’t think like that. I don’t want to lose him. I..I can’t lose him. What if it goes horribly wrong?”

I didn’t add that I knew he’d ruin me. Or that I wanted him to. I wasn’t sure how they’d react to that part, the raw, ugly truth of it.

“It’s been going right for over twenty years,” Ari supplied, oh so helpfully.

“She’s right, you know? You’ve always been scared of that, but he has never let you down once,” Roxxi said gently. “You deserve someone who makes you feel like the world's on fire in the best way.”

“It wouldn’t just be the world. Ryder’s…” I shook my head. “You know what he’s like. He’s intense.”

Cloe grinned. “Yeah, and you’re into it.”

My face warmed instantly. I didn’t even bother denying it. His intensity had always pulled me in when it should’ve sent me running in the opposite direction.

She leaned forward and continued. “If anyone can handle him, it’s you. You’ve always grounded him. You make him human. I don’t know where he’d be without you, Sanj. That’s alot to carry, I get that, but I love him too, and I want him with someone who sees him the way you do.”

Her words struck something deep. They echoed a thought I hadn’t been able to shake since last night, when he told me in not-so-many words, Brooke didn’t know the real him. She got the polished version guaranteed to shine. The college jock with adoring fans. The charmer. He wore a mask better than anyone, but I’d always seen the person beneath it.

Ryder had always been my confidant.

He was my first friend, the boy who held my hand when I was scared of the dark.

---