Page 35 of Summer Nights

I shrugged. "Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because you just got big news."

My phone started buzzing with a string of texts. I picked it up. "The girls are on one long message chain. It can get out of control at times."

"I'm on one with my family, but we don't use it often. Just when we need to get together for a family event."

"Lucky you," I said as I skimmed through the string. "They’re talking about how Brady declared his love for Hazel at the end of the interview.”

"I'm glad they figured things out."

"Yeah, me too." I set the phone aside, feeling a pang of jealousy. I wasn't used to that feeling. I'd long ago decided that my life was different from other people’s and comparing myself to my friends only caused heartache. I made the best of my circumstances and persevered.

But for a few seconds, I'd let myself wallow. Our friends were in love. They were going to get married at some point and have a family. I was doing everything backward. "I never thought I'd be in this position. I was always so careful."

Cooper's brow furrowed. "I put it on late both times.”

Ivy sighed.

"It doesn't matter how it happened," I finally said.

"No, it doesn't."

"But for now, I think we should keep it quiet. Most people don't tell their friends and family they're pregnant until after the first trimester."

"If that's what you want to do."

"That will give me time to process everything and to make a plan."

Cooper touched my thigh. "You don't have to have everything figured out."

My stomach flip-flopped at his touch. "I won't be able to relax until I do."

"You don't think this will be more of a day-to-day situation? We don't know what we even need to worry about yet."

I nodded. "I'll do some research."

"It's okay to just sit with the news and process what it means for you, physically and emotionally. You don't have to have everything figured out."

"Then you don't know me very well. I need to get on top of this." I'd research what I needed to do and all the things I'd need to buy.

"I don't want you to be stressed out. It can't be good for the baby."

His hand on my thigh was comforting, grounding me in this moment. "I won't be able to relax until I know the next steps."

"I can understand that," Cooper finally said, but I could tell he was concerned.

All of a sudden, it was too much having him in my space. I needed to be able to breathe, to think. "I'm exhausted.”

He removed his hand and stood. "I'll leave you alone. But call me if you need me."

"I will," I said as I followed him to the door. I could already see myself pulling back from whatever this was. We wouldn't be fucking against random walls anymore. I was going to be a mother. He'd move on, and I'd be a single mom.

I squared my shoulders. I'd supported myself since I was a kid. I could do this too. I wouldn't let my child live the same way I did. I would raise them in a loving and secure home.

He turned to face me. "I feel weird leaving you like this."

"I'm going to take a bath and go to bed." In reality, I was going to do some research on my laptop. I needed to know what I was in for.

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