Page 132 of Secondhand Smoke
His jaw set, and his eyes shimmered as he shook his head. “I’m sorry, Nell. You need to go.”
“What?” Nell tripped over the only word out of her mouth. The hair on her skin went haywire, spiking as she registered everyone in that room as a threat. Everyone. “You’re lying.”
“You need to go with them,” he repeated.
Hearing it twice doubled the recoil.
Nell swayed back and forth, then she turned and stumbled out of the living room, down the hallway, and into the bedroom.
She turned to slam the door shut, intent on locking herself in there and never coming out ever again.
But she was slow, and Barrett was quicker.
He followed her in as she screamed at him to leave. He shut the door, locking them in there together and forcing her to remain by him even though looking at him shredded her heart.
Picking up a pillow, she threw it at him and nearly lost her balance.
Barrett was on her in a moment, catching her by the arm and preventing her from toppling to the floor like a broken tower.
He held her together, but Nell only wanted to crash now.
She weakly shoved her hands against him.
She clenched her eyes closed and sent all her power into him, wailing as her hands made contact with his arms and chest.
Salt hit her tongue, and she realized she was crying.
Her foundation finally gave, and with a final push at his arms, he lost his grip and she shattered into a million pieces on the floor.
Not even a tower, just a pane of glass.
The pain burned through her the same way it had when she woke in that hospital bed, the loss nearly tearing her in two. She’d thought she could be stitched together.
How wrong she’d been.
She’d never been worth his love. Never deserved his attention.
Why did he have to remind her?
He said nothing, falling to his knees next to her. His hands lifted to her cheeks, and Nell couldn’t help letting her head fall into his chest.
His heart beat quickly, just like it always did.
“Please, Scott,” she sobbed into his shirt. “Please don’t do this. I need you. I can’t live without you.”
His hand brushed against her cheek, pulling her away and forcing her to meet his eyes. He shook his head. “That’s just the thing, Nell. I don’t want to be the thing you can’t live without. I just want to be a part of the life you’re already living. You need more help than I’m capable of giving you right now. I’m not going to hold you back from that.”
“But—”
He caught her lips in his, and she wished he didn’t kiss her like he was saying goodbye. His mouth moved softly, with the same passion but like he was in no rush to let it go.
Yet he did anyway.
When she opened her eyes, she saw the way his sparkled in the sunlight from his window.
His fingers slid over her cheeks and under her eyes, crested her nose, and lined her chin. “Please, Nell.” His voice cracked. He leaned his forehead against hers. “Don’t treat me like I’m that stuff.”
Nell jolted, her eyes widening.
