Page 141 of Secondhand Smoke
He strummed the first chords of the song and watched Nell closely through the light as her mouth fell open in surprise then transformed into a stunning smile as she nodded.
Somehow, Barrett knew it. He knew, just by looking at this glowing girl standing in the darkness of the crowd, that Nell was finally ready to hear KC’s song.
58 - Nell
Nell hadn’t expected to be this anxious.
She’d thought she was ready for this the entire drive over, but the moment Barrett walked onto the stage, her resolve shredded into the same nerves of a fan meeting their biggest idol.
She needed to get over her nerves and talk to him before they left on tour tomorrow.
“I already told you no one is allowed backstage tonight,” the bouncer said, crossing his arms across his chest.
“Then can you please tell them that Nell would like to see them? They know me.” She was trying to be polite since he was just doing his job, but he wouldn’t even spare her a glance.
He just watched the crowd behind her with a narrowed, annoyed gaze as they slowly exited the venue. A group of other girls lingered close behind, listening in on their argument. “You’re the tenth chick who’s tried this on me tonight. Just leave before I drag you out.”
Nell made a frustrated huff and crossed her arms. Before she could say anything else, the stage door swung open.
Nell’s heart spiked, then dropped when she saw an unfamiliar guy in his thirties peeking out. The bouncer turned around and looked at the guy, who Nell quickly realized was looking at her.
His eyes jumped over her face, to her hair, then back to her face. “Are you Janelle?”
Nell blinked. The bouncer finally looked at her, his eyebrow raised. The girls behind Nell started muttering amongst themselves.
“Yes.”
“Well, that was easier than I expected. Come in. They told me to find you.”
Nell placed her hand on her heart as the nervous pitter-patters returned in full force. She smiled up at the bouncer, who rolled his eyes as he pulled the makeshift barricade aside for her to enter and shut it quickly before the other fans tried to rush it.
She heard him cursing at them as she followed the man backstage and let the door swing shut behind her.
“This is a one-time exception, okay? They’ve got an early schedule tomorrow, so you need to make it quick, alright?”
“Yes, of course. Thank you!” Nell grinned up at him, and he looked at her from the corner of his eye.
“I’m Joe, by the way, the group’s manager.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Nell. I’m— ”
“The good luck charm. Yeah, I know. I’ve heard about you.”
Nell stared at him. “You have?”
He shrugged. “A bit.”
Nell nodded. She hadn’t heard that term in a long time. She’d almost forgotten what they’d called her back then. Hearing it again was surprisingly . . . difficult.
It reminded her of how broken she’d been back then, how much she’d worried she’d fail them, how much she relied on them, and how much she missed them.
But she had grown since then, overcome the things that had taken over her mind and turned it into fractures of sanity.
Rather than running from the memories, she smiled and embraced them; they were just further proof of how far she’d come.
Joe led her to the dressing rooms and stopped outside, his hand pausing on the doorknob. “You have twenty minutes, and then I’ll come get you. That’s it. Got it?”
Nell nodded, taking a deep breath. “Got it.”
