Page 75 of Secondhand Smoke
She felt like herself. Not some shadow. Not some drawing.
The Nell she used to be.
The song came to a close, and Nell stumbled slightly on her feet, drunken and dizzy and chuckling. Barrett caught her elbow before she had a chance to tumble.
She looked up at him, his worried eyes scanning her.
“Okay, less drinks and more food for you,” he said, breathless from their dance.
Nell grinned, and without questioning or thinking, she wrapped her arms around his waist as a metal song she didn’t recognize started.
Barrett stiffened, his hands falling to her shoulders.
“I’m gonna miss you,” she said.
There was a beat of silence as everyone took a moment to comprehend both their positions and her words.
Dennis broke it. “What? Only him? We’re going too.”
“It’s only a few days,” Paulie added, his words so slurred that Nell was impressed he managed them.
A few days. Every week. For who knew how long. It all added up.
She let go of Barrett, catching his glinting eyes for only a second before she turned to the others. “I’ll miss all of you.”
“You can always come with us,” Toni said. “There’s plenty of room.”
Nell smiled at him. She’d always wished it were that easy, but it wasn’t. She couldn’t be in a car for more than ten seconds. A drive to another city was impossible. “I can’t.”
There was a sense of grief. A few days wasn’t much, but she was losing more than that.
Without them and The Pour House, she was losing her escape.
“I—we’ll—be back Monday. As early as we can,” Barrett said.
“But not too early,” Dennis added. “I’m not getting up before ten.”
Nell laughed and looked at the sky again, the stars spinning slightly.
She felt great. Happy for them. This was exactly what they wanted, so she wanted it too.
She could handle a few days.
She could.
30 - Barrett
Barrett had been riding a high since the moment Nell danced with him then hugged him. It lasted through the entire weekend, and they performed until their throats were raw and they passed out on their motel beds.
Every night, the crowds grew bigger and bigger. Barrett’s adrenaline tripled; he’d never felt so alive.
After a weekend like that, he expected reality to come crashing back on top of him come Monday when they returned to Gemsburg and crushing him under its dead-end weight.
Except, that didn’t happen.
That blue-eyed work of art sitting on his front porch carried his fantasy on her shoulders when he arrived back at the house. Her bike was leaning against the siding of the house. He was already grinning ear to ear when he pulled up and parked, jumping out as soon as the van was off.
Nell waved and stood up, a soft smile twisting her lips as she walked over. His arms itched to reach out, relive that touch that’d been burned into his body since she’d held him.
