Page 75 of Not That Complicated

“That was mean,” I said to Liam.

“He’s lucky I don’t haul him out the car and yell at him for a bit. Supposed to be keeping watch, not dozing on the job.”

“His eyes were open.”

“Don’t be fooled, and don’t make excuses.”

I dithered in front of the door, not sure what to do about the tape. Liam reached over my shoulder and pulled it down. I got my keys out and did a passable job of hiding the tremble in my hand as I unlocked it. “Why’s he keeping watch?”

“He’s supposed to stop sightseers from poking around the scene. It’s standard procedure. Nothing to worry about.”

“Okay. When’s it going to stop being ‘the scene’ and become ‘my house’ again?”

“Ray, we have to conduct a thorough search of the premises.”

“I know. You already told me that. I’m surprised you aren’t doing it now.”

I was surprised it wasn’t a hive of activity. It was me, Liam, and Officer Dozy outside.

“We’re a small force here. It’s an interesting case, but it’s not like we’re investigating an open murder with a critical time element, like, say, any chance whatsoever of being able to arrest the person who did it.” He gazed at me meaningfully.

I gazed back. Then the reason behind his meaningful gaze percolated. “As in…nochance?”

“Zero chance.”

“And that would be because, considering how old the bodies are, the person who did it is…also dead?” I guessed.

Liam heaved a big, fake, put-upon sigh. “You saw them, Ray. They were essentially mummies. Of course, you’ve put it all together yourself, right? I’m not telling you anything you don’t know here. Right?”

“Very right. Yes. I know everything. Wait. No, I don’t know everything. Because it’s not my crime. But I do know that the body was very, very old-looking. If I had to estimate, I’d say it was, oh…” I watched Liam’s expression, adjusting my estimates as I went “…at least twenty. No, forty. More? Yes. More than fifty years old. Twice more? Are you serious? It’s at least a hundred years old?”

“The lab isn’t rushing the analysis on this one, but that seems to be the general consensus at the moment. Good guess.”

“Thanks,” I said vaguely. “Hang on, though.” I hadn’t waited around to get a good look at the second guy. Long enough to know I was looking at the same kind of thing—a human body in a tub—as the first guy. Who had died around a century ago. Which was really sticking. Because… “The first body was wearing bellbottom jeans and a tie-dye t-shirt,” I said.

“Yep.”

“The seventies was a long time ago, but it wasn’t a hundred years ago.”

“Your maths is impeccable.”

My stomach lurched. “Liam. That doesn’t add up.”

“It doesn’t.”

“For a man who died a hundred years ago to be wearing an outfit from the seventies, that means someone dressed him up.”

Liam dipped his head in a tiny nod.

“Like a doll,” I said. “Oh, crap. He was a human doll?” That was the most horrific thing I’d ever heard.

“I can’t speculate as to the motive behind the clothes.”

“I can. I’m speculating my arse off. Creepy human doll serial killer. Oh, fuck. It’s not a murder house. It’s not even a serial killer house, and I didn’t think it could get worse than that. It’s a human dollhouse. Liam. I’m living in the dollhouse of the dead.Don’t tell anyone.I’ll never sell it.”

“I won’t tell anyone, because it’s speculation and it’s against the rules. And you won’t tell anyone that you managed to work it out all on your own, either? Will you?”

“Did you not hear me? I can’t offload a dollhouse. I’m never even going to say the word again. Except…what was the other guy’s outfit? I didn’t see.”

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