Page 115 of Not That Ridiculous

“Kevin,” I murmured, resting a hand on the side of his neck.

He nudged me gently, tilting my head and deepening the kiss.

I didn’t fight it. Why would I? He was a spectacular kisser. I only had two other guys to compare him with, true, but I really didn’t see how anyone could top this.

His lips were firm, his tongue slid lazily along mine, and he held me exactly where he wanted me. It was perfect. All I had to do was take it.

He pulled away with a laugh and glanced down to where Phil stood patiently with his lowered head jammed into the back of Kevin’s knee, waiting to be acknowledged. “Hi, Phil,” he said, reaching down for a gentle pat. Eyes still on Phil, he said, “I’m really sorry, Charlie. Please don’t break up with me.”

What?“Why would I break up with you?” I squinted at him suspiciously. “What have you done?”

He looked up. “Uh, I was a dick?”

I searched his face. “This morning?” I said after a moment.

He nodded.

“That was you being a dick?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow. So. Hmm.”

He looked anxious.

“No,” I said quickly. “No, no. We’re good. I’m not breaking up with you. I just wouldn’t have said that was particularly dickish behaviour. You were a bit abrupt and you kissed me to shut me up. Big deal. I’m not exactly known for my sunny personality and polite manners.”

Kevin sagged with relief.

“You’d have to do something monumentally stupid or really fuck up my life to make me break up with you,” I said with a reassuring clap to the shoulder. “Then it’s game over. But otherwise, we’re good.”

“Okay.” He beamed. “I’ll try really hard not to do anything stupid or fuck up your life. Now, I brought my sledgehammer. Cool if I go and knock down your bedroom wall?”

I blinked at him. “Uh?—”

He let go of me and bounced lightly on his toes, shaking out his arms. “It’s that, or I’ll have to go back to the gym before supper. I’m still a bit wound up from Craig pissing me off. Some demo will see me right.”

I made a face. “Couldn’t you…wouldn’t you rather have sex?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said. “But I think I’d better burn some of this off first, or I might wreck your hole.”

My stomach plunged.

Every now and then, Kevin busted out some of his terrible dirty talk, most of which I thought it was safe to assume he’d picked up from porn. Or Adam.

It was objectively awful.

It worked on me every time.

Kevin knew it. He grinned at me. “Rough handyman pounds his big hammer in twink’s virgin hole,” he said.

“Oh, for god’s?—”

“Taken by the tradesman: sassy twink nailed to the wall like a sexy picture?—”

“Youhangpictures, Kevin, you don’t nail them. If you don’t know that much, then I have some serious questions about your qualifications.”

“I’m the best,” he said confidently. “Can I have a go at your wall, then?”

---