Page 152 of Not That Ridiculous

His gaze roamed over my face and stopped on my eyes. “I love you.”

“And you’re an idiot.”

“You’rean id—what?”

I squirmed. He tightened his grip. “You’re an idiot,” I said crisply. “What was all that nonsense earlier? Hanging up on me? Ignoring my calls? Leaving my text on read? No, sir.No. I’m way too old to be playing that sort of game.”

“I wasn’t playing a game! And you’re not old.”

“I’m older than you.”

He frowned and muttered, “Not by that much.”

I had another go at breaking free. The only thing it did was make me harder. I stopped squirming. “Would I be correct in assuming that you were worried I was angry at you about the dead bodies?”

“Yeah.” He managed to look angry and offended and sorry all at the same time when he added, “All of my mates at the gym were calling me Kevin the Corpse Finder. And the papers.” His scowl deepened. “And Craig got excited about it.”

“Did you think I’d break up with you?”

“I mean…yeah? It’s not nothing, Charlie.”

“Compared to how I feel about you? That’s exactly what it is. Nothing.”

He swallowed hard.

“Also, in trying to avoid letting me break up with you, you had functionally broken up with me. Good plan. We were in Schrödinger’s relationship.” Or something.

He squinted. “What?”

Now wasn’t the time to explain quantum mechanics. Also, likeIcould explain quantum mechanics? “We never discussed what it is we’re doing. What this is between us. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about in the coffee shop, so you’d feel secure and not freak out over a little speed bump.”

“I counted four speed bumps .”

I waved a hand. “I don’t care if there were twenty. And earlier, when I wanted to talk on the phone, it was because I wanted to know how you were holding up. That’s all. At no point was I trying to dump you.”

He opened his mouth to reply but obligingly closed it again when I shook my head.

“Let me get this out, okay?” I said. “I’m not great at exposing myself.”

His eyes heated and he gave me a scorchingly sultry look.

I knew exactly what he was thinking. Stay on track, I warned myself. Do not jump on him. “Can I have my hands back?”

“Don’t need your hands to talk.” He nudged me backwards until I came up gently against the wall. He pulled my hands up and over my head and pinned them there, staring into my eyes.

“Right,” I said. “Okay.”

He put a foot between mine and kicked my legs wider, slotting his thigh in between.

My heart rate—not slow by any means—picked up. “I haven’t had a relationship before, Kevin, and I don’t really know how these things are supposed to go. All I know is what I want from you.” Everything. Absolutely everything. “And I’m not about to put up with misunderstandings. So. Tell me. What do you want from me?”

He didn’t even hesitate. “Your love. I want your body and your attention and your love. I want to know I’m special, that I’m yours and you’re mine. I want to keep doing what we’ve been doing, but more. I’ve only fucked you once. I want to do it a lot.” He nodded, widening his eyes at me. “Alot, a lot. And if I want it when you don’t, I was thinking you could just let me look at you, and I’d have a wank.”

I dropped my head to his shoulder at the idea of it. Intense Kevin, staring at me and working himself to orgasm as I lounged around for his viewing pleasure.

He shook against me with laughter. “You said you’ve loved me for a while. How long is a while?”

“Do we need to put a number on it?” I said vaguely, and bit at the join of his neck and shoulder to distract him.

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