Page 159 of Not That Ridiculous

“That’s what I hear. I never saw them.” I gave him the highlights of the worst Saturday of my life while he scoffed the rest of his brownie.

Ray hummed. “Have you read the papers at all? Checked Facebook?”

“It’s bad enough living it. I don’t need to read other people’s opinions on it, thanks.”

“Does Kevin know they’re calling him the Chipping Fairford Corpse Finder?”

I crossed my arms over my chests and grinned. “Yeah. He’s not a fan.”

“And yet you’re smiling. Why are you smiling?”

“Because this morning I realised that it’s only a matter of time until Craig Henderson the attention ho tries to cash in on it.”

Ray pulled a face. “Sounds like something he’d do. I don’t see how he’ll manage to make it about him, though. He wasn’t even there.”

“Right, but how long do you think it’s going to take for him to try and pimp Kevin out? I can see the ad now.Worried your Chipping Fairford property is another dollhouse? Get a special survey from the Cotswolds’ most successful Corpse Finder. For only two hundred pounds, Kevin Wallis will check your property and give you peace of mind!”

“Shit,” Ray said. “Yeah, he’ll do it.”

“He definitely will. I can’t wait. I hope Kevin quits and goes into business on his own.”

“It’s a stupid nickname, but they’re not wrong. He does keep finding them, after all. Do you think we should invite Kevin to join the club?”

“Seems only fair. We should invite your dad, too. He found the clown.”

“Good idea. And Marley. He was driving the digger. He and Dad are still fighting about which one of them gets credit for the discovery.” He finished the last bite of his brownie and glanced down at Phil, who was gazing (mostly) at him with hopeful adoration. “No, Phil,” he said. “I’m saving you. Chocolate is bad for dogs. We talked about this at breakfast when you wanted my Coco Pops.”

Phil sighed.

“Liam said I can get back in the house later today,” I said.

“That’s quick. They were at my house for days. Do you think they’ve got any new evidence along with the bodies? Do you think they’ll solve the case this time?”

I shrugged. “I think it’ll pan out exactly the same as yours. Random, long-dead corpses found in a secondary location, no suspects. It’s the coldest of cold cases. I’m sure the police have plenty of fresh murders to occupy them.”

“Yeah.” Ray helped himself to another brownie and took a big bite.

“You want another cappuccino to wash that down?” I asked.

He nodded.

I stuck my head through the doorway and asked Milly to make one when she had a moment. My legs had seized up again.

Bouncing on it was, apparently, a young man’s game. Or a fitter-than-me man’s game.

I handed Ray a napkin. “My money’s on Karen Strickland being the one to solve it, if anyone ever does. She’s got the time and the energy, and unlike Liam, she only has to think about this one case. She’s already been investigating it for years, did you know?”

He dabbed neatly at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah. She’s interviewed me a couple of times now. She’s been over to photograph the house and garden, too. Have you given her an interview yet?”

“We had a quick chat yesterday, but all she wanted was some quotes. I don’t think it counts as an interview.”

“She’ll ask you for one soon. I’m pretty sure she’s writing a book.”

“Then one day I’ll buy a copy and find out who the murderer was, and why they were hiding bodies all over Chipping Fairford. Until then, I plan to move on with my life.”

“Good plan,” said Ray. “Worked for me.” He smiled, getting that smitten look on his face he always got when thinking about, talking about, or existing in the presence of Adam Blake. “Worked great.”

And I did move on.

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