Page 50 of Not That Ridiculous

“How did you even stumble across…?”

“I didn’t stumble across it, I searched for it,” he said. “On a laptop and everything. Sassy gay baristas are a thing.”

“We are?” I said blankly. “I mean, they are?” He’d searched porn sites for sassy gay baristas?

Because of me?

He nodded meaningfully, and gave me a heavy look. “Yeah. I’ve seen lots of interesting scenarios. Got lots of ideas. Want to hear some of my ideas?”

“I don’t…no. I don’t think so.”

Did I?

No.

“My favourite videos were the handyman ones. There were loads more to choose from. And the porn baristas weren’t really all that sassy. Felt a bit cheated, to be honest. I think the titles were mostly clickbait because none of them were like you.”

“Because I’m notsassy, Kevin. For god’s sake. Or a twink.”

He sighed, his cheeks pink. “So sassy.”

“Stop saying that word.”

“Shall I send you some of my favourite clips?”

“Of burly handymen surprising unsuspecting twinks with their XXXL power tools? No thanks.”

“You sure? I think you’d enjoy them. On second thought, it’s best you don’t watch them.”

Finally, we agreed.

“I like the idea of wowing you with my wicked new gay skills.”

With that, he picked up the tray and wandered off to where Craig was waiting, still engrossed with his phone.

It took about five minutes of deep breathing in the kitchen for me to calm down.

11

Thinking about Kevin wowing me with his wicked new gay skills or surprising me with his XXXL power tool kept me distracted all day.

I was so distracted that my guard was down when Jasper came in after his spin class to cajole me into another weekend gym date, I wasn’t firm enough with him, and a few days later it was Saturday and he showed up on my doorstep, ready to chauffeur me to the gym. Whether I liked it or not.

I didn't like it, as I informed Jasper once I’d wrestled the door open, still in my pyjamas. I added that I had a big day planned of many interesting and blood-pressure lowering activities, none of which took place in a gym.

“Not a problem,” he said, and got his phone out of his pocket.

Good. He caved nicely. I must be getting my unapproachable grump on.

I’d started to worry about people suddenly thinking they could push me about, making me go to the gym, fixing my cabinets and…and stuff.

The world was back to how it should be. Nature was healing. Jasper was smiling. I?—

Why was Jasper smiling?

“Who are you calling?” I demanded.

“Hmm? Oh. Kevin.”

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