Page 65 of Not That Ridiculous

“Shit.” My head fell back against the headrest and I jerked into his touch. “Argh. Not here, Kevin.”

He put his hands in his own lap. “I can wait. It’s okay. I can wait.”

I wasn’t sure if he was saying that to me or to himself.

“I don’t have any tools,” I said.

“What?”

“I don’t have any tools. I assume you were planning on installing the door once it gets delivered?”

He stared at me blankly. “Right. Yeah. Didn’t think that through. Bollocks. Toolbox is in the Land Cruiser.”

“Which gives you two options. One, you go and grab it and put it in the back of my car and we continue to pretend that you need a lift. Or two, you come clean and admit that you haven’t got a flat tyre.”

He leaned in again for another quick kiss. “I haven’t got a flat tyre,” he said. “That was me going off script. Sorry.”

“There’s a script?”

“More of a plan. Me and the door were going to show up at the same time. That way, I reckoned you wouldn’t tell me off too much, what with it being a done deal. And you really needing a door that works. Then, after I’d wowed you with my DIY skills, I was going to wow you with my wicked gay sex skills.”

I stared at him.

“Do you like my plan, Charlie?” he asked sincerely.

“It’s…uh. It’s bold. It’s a bold plan. I like boldness. Is it agoodplan, though? Hmm. That’s a whole other question.”

“Didn’t ask that question,” he said firmly. He placed his warm hand on my jaw and held the side of my face, looking deep into my eyes. “I asked if you liked it?”

“Yeah. It sounds…” Like it could end in disaster. Like everything I’d decided earlier that I needed to avoid.

Like everything I wanted.

“Yeah,” I said. “It sounds good.” Not sleeping with Kevin wasn’t that easy after all, it seemed.

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm. Great.” I nodded. “Oh, hey. Another question for you. Just a quickie. Seems like the right time to bring it up. Do you know how to have sex with a man?”

Because it was soon going to become very clear that I didn’t.

“Don’t you worry about that,” he said with a reassuring clap to my shoulder. “I’m great at sex.”

He unbuckled himself, popped the door open, and lunged out.

I leaned across the passenger seat to hiss, “I’m glad to hear it, but being great at heterosexual sex might not be all that helpful with me, and I?—”

“Charlie.” He ducked down to meet my eyes. “I already told you. I’ve watched so much gay porn, you don’t even know. I’ve got this.”

“Okay, but talking about all the porn you’ve watched is worrying in and of itself. If you start choking me or you spit on me, I’m not going to lie, I won’t react favourably?—”

“I don’t want to choke you.”

Always good to hear.

“Or spit on you. Although if you want me to, I will accommodate your needs.”

“Thanks, I’ll pass.”

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