Page 71 of Not That Ridiculous

“Hah. No, you don’t. Stop squirming,” he said, and held me tighter when I tried to shove him away.

“Go and find a girl, then,” I snapped. “Or as they prefer to be called, awoman.”

“Sorry. Woman.”

Dear god, he was strong. I wasn’t playing about here. I was doing my level best to wrench out of his grip and he wasn’t even phased by it.

He tightened his arms around me, lifted me an inch off my feet, and walked me into the house. He kicked the door shut (mostly) behind him, turned us, and pushed me up against it.

“It’s easier,” he said, pinning me with his body, “because I already know how to make them happy, that’s all. I’ve had practice. I know to buy them flowers, or tell them their hair looks pretty, or take them out to the pub, but you don’t want any of those things.”

“I like roses just fine, actually,” I said.

Wouldn’t mind a compliment on my hair every now and then, either.

“Great. I’ll buy you roses.”

“Don’t you dare.”

He mock-growled and slid his hand up the back of my neck to fist my hair, using it to crank my head to the side so he could suck on my neck.

“Shit.” I clutched at his shoulders as my knees went weak.

He slid a thigh between mine and bit me. He dragged his mouth up the length of my neck to my ear, bit that, along my jaw to the point of my chin and bit that, too, then pulled back to say, “I get a fucking good discount on doors and I’m not paying anywhere near the list price. It’s a door, not a Maserati, so it’s not that expensive in the first place. Thisismy idea of a good time, and I’mwooingyou, Charlie.” Right up to the last part, he was firm and no nonsense. That last part, though, was plaintive.

I flattened my hands on his sides and he flexed into it.

“You don’t have to let me install it for you,” he said. “If you want to keep the one you’ve got then you can, obviously. It’s your house. I’ll tell Ali to take it away. I didn’t think it all through, I s’pose. Got excited about it, thinking I could do something nice for you and you’d like it. You’d like me.”

Oh my god. “I lo—Ilikeyou, Kevin. I like you a lot. You don’t have to do things for me. I already like you. You certainly don’t have to buy things for me or woo me or court me or anything.”I’m yours, I managed not to say.

Crap. I was completely his.

I stroked up and down his arms.

“I’ll get you figured out,” he told me. “It’s taking me a while, but I’ll get there. It’s been years since I’ve had new stuff to work out like this. I got girls—women, sorry—got them sorted years ago. I know how to be a gentleman and treat them right. I know what they need and I make sure they get it. You’re something else, Charlie.”

“Called a man.”

“Yeah.” I gasped and pushed my hips into his hand when he tweaked my dick. “This is new, and all.” He stared down as he worked me gently, thoughtfully. “I will say, though, I’m fucking amazing with a cock. I reckon the skill will translate. Reckon I can make you enjoy it.”

Going on the way I was already hard and panting, I’d have to agree.

“I’ll catch up with the rest. Is it that we don’t do the little love gifts and stuff as men?” He was still working me thoughtfully. “Huh. Maybe I should have looked other things up on the internet rather than all the porn. Like, etiquette things.”

“Maybe you should.”

MaybeIshould.

“I’ll get on that, then, shall I?” He stopped moving his hand and I made a complaining noise, pushing into him. “Yeah?” he said, low and dark. “Want some more?”

I wanted it all. I opened my mouth to tell him that, but before I could, someone banged on the other side of the door, right by my head.

“Kevin,” Ali shouted. “C’mon, mate. We’re burning daylight here!”

“In a minute!” Kevin bellowed.

Did he have to do that right by my ear? Seriously. He wassoloud.

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