Page 60 of The Casting Couch

Bradley choked on air.

“Not now,” Laura said, “tomorrow.Today is just casting.”

“Yeah, I heard.The cocks have been auditioning.Very theater kid energy out there, by the way.One of them tried to convince me he was a method actor.”

Laura groaned.“Was it the one in mesh with the Jesus tattoo on his pelvis?”

“No, that one was praying in the hallway.Loudly.”

Bradley was covering his mouth, shoulders shaking.When he looked up at me again, his eyes were dancing.“You wanna help?”

“Help what?”

“Pick guys,” he said.“If I have to be, you know… center stage tomorrow, I’d rather someone be here who understands the vibe.”

Laura crossed her arms.“You mean someone who won’t flinch when a perfect stranger asks about splash zones?”

“Exactly,” Bradley said.

I shrugged and rolled my eyes.“Sure.I’ll help pick out the guys who’ll dramatically ejaculate on you.That’s just a normal Tuesday for me.”

Laura handed me a clipboard and pointed to the folding chair next to Bradley.I sat down and tried not to read into the fact that our knees were almost touching.Almost.

“Alright,” she said.“Let’s keep this train wreck moving.”

She disappeared out into the hallway, calling, “Next!”

Bradley leaned over.“You missed the poetry guy.”

“Oh no,” I said flatly.“Tell me someone didn’t deliver a cum sonnet.”

Bradley’s grin widened.“He rhymed ‘glory’ with ‘ejaculatory.’”

“I take it back.I want him hired.”

“No, you do not.”

Before I could respond, the studio door opened and in walked a guy who looked like he’d just finished DJing a foam party in Ibiza.Shirtless, tan, chain necklace, sunglasses on top of his head indoors.He winked at us both, cracked his knuckles, and said, “Name’s Kyler.That’s Kyler with a Y.My pronouns are pound and me.”

Bradley made a sound like a dying cat.

“Okay, Kyler with a Y,” I said, flipping to a blank spot on the clipboard.“Got any experience?”

“Yeah,” he said.“I was in Twinks Gone Wild 3 and a deleted scene from Fifty Shades of Gay.Also, I once jerked out a load while skydiving.”

Laura, who had just reappeared with a bottle of water, paused.“Like… in free fall?”

“Yup.”

I leaned over to Bradley.“He might be a danger to himself, but that’s the commitment this shoot needs.”

Bradley blinked.“Sure.Why not?”

Laura called for the next guy.

This one looked… normal.Scary normal.Like, fully dressed, clean-shaven, could’ve worked at a bank if not for the aggressive V-neck.He gave us a little wave.

“Hi!I’m Evan.Pronounced Even but spelled E-V-A-N.”

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