Page 24 of Sacrificing Zoriah

“Okay…”

“Suck it up,” he says. “Bad shit happens, but no matter how much we try to wish it away, we can’t. The only thing we can do is find a way to process all those emotions and then learn a new path through life.”

“How did you process your sister and Kelsie?” I ask.

“I fucked… a lot,” he says with a smile, and I laugh. “It’s how I process emotions. The fear and anxiety didn’t exist when I was with someone, and I was left with just the basics. My sister made a mistake. She reached out, knowing it wasn’t safe for Kelsie to be there. She fed her and put her to bed after reading her a story, even though she was itching to go shoot up. She did the absolute best she could while waiting on me, but then the addiction dragged them both down. They likely misjudged how much they took. They were too high to realize that one of them forgot to turn the oven off. She was making me cookies to say thank you for getting Kelsie, but she was trying to survive and care for her child, and it cost her everything. Kelsie went through a lot, but having to explain that her mom and dad died shut her down. We got her into therapy, and she was able to process that. I struggled to find a balance. I kept finding myself almost calling her multiple times a day, and I still do sometimes. She was my little sister… I know exactly what your brother is feeling right now, because I’ve been there. I am just so fucking happy that he didn’t have to experience what I did and plan a funeral because my parents just couldn’t do it. Fucking cleared my head and let me see that there was more to life than the tragedy. If Kelsie could fight, then so could I.”

“You talk about how I feel with them. Ben. Corbin. Even Dad… How do you feel?” I ask.

“Well…” he says. “If I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ve been that scared since I pulled up to my sister’s house… When you didn’t text me back, I was worried, but then I called when you didn’tshow up for work. I knew right away that something terrible had happened, and I was praying to God that you had only quit.”

“So how are you going to process?” I ask.

“Ask what you really want to know, mi amor,” he smiles.

“Should I plan on another woman ever being here?” I ask.

“No,” he says. “Ask it, Zoriah.”

“Ugh,” I groan dramatically. “If you say that you are in love with me, then what does that make us? Do I get the comfort of knowing you aren’t fucking other women? Can I fuck other men?”

“First of all, if any man other than Huxley or Ben touched you, I’ll break his fucking hands,” he says firmly. “You are the woman that I want, Zoriah. I am yours however you want me.”

“What if I wanted you… like for real?” I ask.

“Explain,” he says simply.

“If you love me and I love you… Then….”

“Come on. You are so close,” he smiles.

“Are we dating, because I want us to?” I say quickly before I stop myself again.

“Are you ready for something like that?” he asks. “If this had come up Friday, would you have wanted to then?"

"Yes," I say.

"Then we are dating," he says. "But what I said still stands. I am not touching you until you are ready. Nothing beyond a hug.”

“I really hope you like to snuggle in your sleep,” I say as he stands.

“Mmmm. You are in my shirt… in my bed… with no panties on. I think that is a recipe for disaster if you ask me.”

“Why? Gonna fuck me in my sleep or something?” I ask.

“No, but I will definitely jerk off thinking about fucking you while you sleep,” he says with a playful smile.

“Well, that’s a hot image to picture,” I laugh.

“I’m sure it is,” he says as he smiles, and then he pulls off his shirt. My mouth dries, and I scan his body as he undresses down to boxers. He is so fucking beautiful. Like truly beautiful. His chest, arms, and abdomen are thick with muscles. God, even his thighs are banded with muscles. I can’t help but notice the bulge in his boxers, but I instantly snap myself out of my daze when I realize I am staring at his dick. I sigh and close my eyes, but the fantasy is still there.

“You are a thirsty little thing,” Roman jokes as he pulls the covers back and lays beside me. I haven’t moved because I don’t know what to do. He slides his arm under me instead and pulls me to his chest. I am hesitant at first, but he grabs my wrist and pulls my arm so that it is wrapped around him, making me relax instantly. “There ya go. Good girl.”

“Fuuuck, this is nice,” I groan as he rubs my back.

“Good. Go to sleep. I’m right here,” he says.

“Can I say something that is gross?” I ask. “I kinda want to get it out of my head.”

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