Page 44 of Fake Date with the Mountain Man

“I wasn’t aware that friendship required subtlety.” I keep my voice low so that Vickie doesn’t overhear, but when I look up, she’s sliding out of the booth with her phone pressed to her ear.

“Are you two seriously still doing this ‘friends’ dance?” she sighs. “The sooner you guys accept the fact that you’re going tohook up, the sooner I can start envisioning a future where all four of us grow old together, sipping iced tea on the porch and going to Friday night bingo.”

I roll my eyes. “Sounds like you’ve already gotten a head start on that. And there’s a huge leap between hooking up and living happily ever after in your weird bingo fantasy.”

Abby opens her mouth to say something, but all that comes out is a strained little rasp as her jaw falls open. Following her line of sight, I see a tiny woman walking into the bar. Actually, ‘walking’ doesn’t quite do it justice. She’s strutting like there is an eighties rock anthem playing that only she can hear. Her blue jean cut-offs can’t quite contain the bottom curve of her butt cheeks and her flimsy white crop top looks like it was taken directly from a slutty Little Bo Peep Halloween costume.

It’sa lot…and it’s Kayla.

She glances around, spots Ryan across the room, and might as well sprint in his direction.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for women wearing whatever they want. Dress up, dress down, wear glittery pasties to church for all I care…just don’t do it for a man’s sake. Especially if that man is Ryan and the woman is not me. Suddenly, I’m feeling pretty frumpy sitting over here in my sundress and sandals. I adjust the left strap that keeps falling out of place on my shoulder and take a long, miserable sip of my vodka tonic.

“Who is that?” Abby asks.

“Kayla…she’s one of the new interns.”

“She seems…batshit.”

“Pretty much.”

Ryan and Hunter have their backs to the door, so they don’t see Kayla coming until she wedges herself into the tiny space between them. Her boobs press into Ryan’s arm and then hover just above the table, as if she’s offering them up for the taking.

To their credit, none of the men seem very interested in Kayla or her boobs. Hunter takes a full step to the side, while Ryan shifts more subtly onto his other foot to buy himself some space. Emmett looks annoyed and Jack – bless him – seems completely oblivious. It’s like he’s too tall to even see her. To the most giant man at that table, Kayla is a tiny ant and her boobs are imperceptible.

She is persistent though.

“Hey, guys!” she chirps. “Hope you don’t mind me crashing the party. I just turned twenty-one last week.”

Emmett and Ryan wish her a happy birthday flatly between sips of beer. Hunter exits the conversation without a word and heads toward our table.

Abby is a lucky woman. There are no gray areas with Hunter. His bullshit tolerance is exactly zero, which means that Abby has no reason to ever be concerned about women like Kayla. It also makes him a pretty great boss. He’s straightforward and sets reasonable expectations for all of us.

“Here, take my spot,” I say to Hunter before he can slide into the booth across from us. He objects, so I add, “I need to order another drink anyway.”

It’s true, too. I’ve been slurping anxiously at the watery remnants of my drink ever since my staring contest with Ryan. Now that Kayla’s here, I definitely need a refill.

Ryan glances up for a second but doesn’t meet my eyes. It’s a little jab to my stomach. As I walk by, I overhear Kayla asking who is going to buy her first drink. It’s clearly directed at Ryan. I don’t linger long enough to hear his answer.

The bartender tries to flirt with me a little while he pours my drink. Even though I’m not interested in him, it’s a tiny bump to my confidence level. Then I turn around to leave and see Ryan walking up to the bar, Kayla practically glued to his side. His face is unreadable. Not that I really try. I’m too preoccupied withtrying to flee the scene so that I don’t have to bear witness to anything too upsetting. It’s an exercise in self-preservation.

I spend the next half hour floating between people. Vickie and I catch up for a few minutes. Emmett and I joke around until he sets his sight on a girl across the bar and decides to make a move. Even Jack talks to me for a little while. It’s dry shop talk, but it is more words than we’ve exchanged since I started working for the Forest Service.

Eventually, I lose sight of both Kayla and Ryan. A flutter of panic hits my stomach. After a quick glance around the room, I find Kayla cozied up at the bar. The bartender is leaning forward, practically drooling over her boobs, as she giggles over something he just said.

Even the damn bartender.

Not that I give a shit about who the bartender flirts with, but the confidence boost his attention gave me a few minutes ago is completely gone.

Excusing myself from the conversation with Jack, I trot off to find Ryan. We’ve been here for over an hour now. Time to put our plan into action.

When I can’t find him, I assume he’s in the restroom. I linger at the corner of the bar, waiting for him to emerge, but he doesn’t. Making another quick sweep of the bar, I finally spot him. He’s in a dark corner, talking to a short, curly-haired woman. They are standing close together, their movements tense, almost like they’re arguing.

There’s no sugarcoating it: I’m jealous again.

And I’m leaving.

On my way out, I text Ryan:Heading home. Stop by later if you want.

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