Page 54 of Fake Date with the Mountain Man

Maybe I just caught her off-guard. Maybe she needs more time to adjust to this than I do. Whatever it is, we can talk it out once she’s ready. We’ve come this far, and I’m not going to let one stupid little word undo it all.

Chapter 19

MARLOW

I feel sick.

There are so many conflicting feelings bouncing around inside of me, my insides feel bruised and sore.

Then there’s the part of me that is actually sore. The part that can’t ignore how good it felt to be with Ryan last night, even if every single other part of me is screaming that I need to move on now.

When we dozed off after all that mind-blowing, toe-curling sex, I didn’t have the energy to worry about if he would stay or not. When I woke up this morning next to him, I thought maybe it meant something. Maybe it wasn’t just a one-night thing. I didn’t want to be overly optimistic, but it felt like more than that. Then he dropped the bomb over breakfast that staying the night with his one-night stands is a regular thing for him. It was a glaring reminder from him that this isn’t any different.

It was stupid for me to think that I was special.

And, after all of that, he has the fucking nerve to introduce me as his girlfriend to some family friends or whatever and I’m just supposed to play along.

I’m done playing.

I’m done pretending.

Project Forget Ryan starts now. I gave into my feelings for him, pretended that maybe we could be a thing, and now I’mpaying the price. I need to squash my feelings and re-write this ending before things get even worse. Otherwise, I’ll give into him over and over again until I have nothing left to give.

_____

On Monday morning, my stomach is in knots over seeing Ryan at work. Despite hyping myself up yesterday, there’s no way I’m going to move on quickly or easily after having sex with him.

In retrospect, I think I knew what it was all building up to. I knew we would hook up eventually if we kept hanging out together. Iwantedus to hook up. Ever since the idea entered my brain the night of the wedding, I’ve never found the will to let it go. I knew sex with Ryan would be amazing – and believe me, it exceeded expectations – but it was sex on his terms. And now I’m left to deal with the consequences.

It’s a quiet morning at the ranger station. Emmett is the first to greet me, as usual. A couple of the interns are milling about towards the back of the lobby. I run into Hunter in the hallway, who gives me a quick nod as the smell of freshly brewed coffee lures us both into the break room.

And there he is.

Ryan.

My stomach tilts so hard that I wonder if the floor just moved. It’s a serious setback to Project Forget Ryan.

He’s standing there, casually perched against the counter sipping his coffee. Is he somehow better looking today?

Ryan greets Hunter with the typical man-mumbles. When he looks over at me, his smile morphs into one that explicitly says, ‘I have seen you naked.’ It’s beyond his normal trademark smirk. I want to smack it off his face.

Or kiss it off his face.

One way or another, I need to do something. I’ve just been hovering near the door for a solid thirty seconds now.

Chin up.

Walk forward.

This man does not affect you.

You will not let him rule your emotions.

“Coffee?” Ryan asks, holding up the carafe as I approach.

“No,” I retort in what has to be the most aggressive-sounding syllable ever spoken. I then proceed to grab the carafe out of his hand and confusingly pour myself a cup of coffee.

Sensing trouble, Hunter practically sprints out of the room.

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