Page 64 of Fake Date with the Mountain Man

I nod and continue. “She’s exhibited a pattern of questionable behavior since she started the program, but she’s managed to stay in a gray area until now. The messages that she sent to Ryan definitely cross the line into sexual harassment though.”

Hunter sighs deeply, letting his massive shoulders fall. “Guess I have to ask: what were these messages about?”

“They were…pictures,” Ryan manages with a cringe. He motions to the phone in his pocket, resting one hand there as he asks, “Should I – I mean, do you need to see them?”

Hunter rolls back in his chair so hard I swear he’s trying to break down the wall and escape into the forest.

“No,” he practically shouts. Clearing his throat, Hunter adds, “But HR might so hang onto them for now.”

Silence stretches out around us all. We shift uncomfortably in our seats and glance around the room as if Hunter’s bare office walls have just gotten so damn interesting.

“Obviously, we thought we should come to you about this,” I say when the tension becomes too overwhelming, “since, you know, we’re together, and that might complicate things.”

Ryan gives me a sympathetic smile, but Hunter’s expression is as unreadable as ever.

“Yeah,” Hunter finally says through yet another sigh. “This sort of thing’s never come up before. I’m going to have to get ahold of someone in HR to figure out how to handle it. It’ll be easier to explain the situation if I can disclose your relationship. That a problem for either of you?”

All of Hunter’s attention is on Ryan when he asks this question, but Ryan is quick to concede to me with a sweeping motion of his hand.

“That’s not a problem at all,” I say, unable to suppress the start of a smile when I lock eyes with Ryan.

Hunter grunts, either because he senses that we’re having a cutesy new couple moment or because he has to deal with HR. Probably both.

By lunchtime, I’ve spoken to the regional HR manager three times. I’d wager that Ryan and Hunter have, too.

Between closed-door phone calls, we all exchange quiet, exasperated glances while refilling our coffee cups. When Kayla walks into the breakroom, her gaze is fixed on Ryan. He can’t escape fast enough. Hunter hovers near the coffeemaker but says nothing. That leaves me to deal with Kayla. She keeps her eyes on the doorway the entire time while I ask her to help Beth put together some literature packets in the conference room. Anything to keep her out of the way until HR tells us how to proceed.

After lunch (not that any of us actually managed to step away from our desks long enough to eat anything), I am summoned back into Hunter’s office. No Ryan this time. A woman named Sharon from HR is queued up in a video chat window on Hunter’s computer. She tells us that it would normally be fine for Hunter and me to terminate an employee for gross misconduct but, given the nature of the complaint and the nature of my relationship with the employee who was victimized (her words, not mine), she’ll need to be present via video chat as well.

Perfect. Who wouldn’t want an audience the first time they have to fire someone for gross sexual misconduct?

I nod calmly while my nerves play a rousing game of pinball on my internal organs.

When Sharon stays on the line after the conversation is seemingly over, Hunter and I exchange a confused look over the screen.

“So, if you’ll just go get the employee, we can get started,” Sharon says.

“Oh, you mean now? We’re doing this right now?” I ask.

Hunter looks as caught off guard as I feel, and I remember that he hasn’t been the boss for all that long. This is probably the first time he’s had to fire an employee.

A few minutes later, I’m back in Hunter’s office with Kayla in tow. Hunter has rearranged the chairs so we’re both seated across from her with the HR lady parked somewhere in the middle where she can’t possibly see any of us very well. She’s aimed directly at the blank wall to my right.

Hunter and I take turns saying words that I think we’ve both seen in movies about people being fired. It works pretty well until Kayla decides that we are wrong. Apparently, she can’t be fired for something she did off work hours. She tells us this repeatedly, until Sharon finally chimes in with an authoritative yet bored tone that conveys exactly how many times she’s had this conversation with people.

Finally, Kayla gives up and accepts her inevitable fate.

Hunter and I are instructed to walk her out. She can gather her things, but not log onto her computer. In the process, Kayla makes more noise than I knew possible out of collecting three pens and her small handbag. Everyone watches quietly from corners and hallways. Everyone except Ryan, that is. He’s conspicuously absent from the building. I’m guessing that Sharon and Hunter decided this was for the best, and there’s no way that Ryan would disagree with that assertion.

Despite everything, I feel a little bad for Kayla. She’s young, probably a little unbalanced, and definitely more than a little embarrassed as she stomps across the lobby. Hunter and I trail her outside and down the wide steps to the sidewalk. We stand there for a second, both trying to figure out appropriate parting words for the situation. Finally, Hunter just kind of grunts before turning on his heel and walking back up the stairs. Ifollow suit. It’s not the smoothest exit, but at least this whole ordeal is over.

The rest of the day passes quickly. My office becomes a revolving door as I try to catch up on all the work that I couldn’t finish this morning. People who have never stepped foot inside my office before are practically lining up outside. Every one of them uses the same tactic: feigning some sort of surprise to see me sitting there –in my own office– on their way to the breakroom. It starts with small talk as they linger in the doorway, until they are eventually seated across from me, asking the same question in a hushed tone: “What happened with Kayla?”

I recite the line that Sharon recommended: “She’s no longer enrolled in the summer intern program.”

When pressed for a reason, I say that I can’t comment.

Hunter’s door has been closed all afternoon. I assume this is his way of staving off similar conversations.

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