Page 22 of Love Her

“Why did you keep it?”

“Clandestine fucking, obviously,” I teased, to regain the upper hand. “But, no, I guess I didn’t want to give it up. Isabelle mostly lived at my place after we got together, but it wasn’t a big deal to keep paying the rent here. And when we bought the farmhouse we worked on it, so it didn’t really feel like we wereapart. Everything was moving in the right direction and—” I said, then stopped.

The obvious finish to the sentence was, ‘she died’.

But when Lia pressed, “And?” I decided to give her the real one.

“I ruined things.”

It was maybe the first time I’d said what I felt out loud.

But it was what had dragged me to the cemetery every Sunday for five entire years.

Asking a crypt for penance for a sin I could never quite confess.

“How?”

I shook my head. “I’ll tell you later. Do your girl thing. Meet me down the hall.”

12

LIA

Isabelle did have tampons—my brand, go figure. She also had extraordinarily high-end face serums, creams, and hand lotions, because of course I fucking snooped. After I sorted my lady-parts out though, I sat for a minute on the toilet, feeling the weight of my future pressing down.

It was so heavy I should’ve fallen straight through the floor.

“Lia!” Rhaim shouted from wherever it was he’d gotten off to. “Stop thinking so hard!” he chided, and I groaned, caught.

“Fine!” I shouted back at him, flushed the toilet, and picked up my towel.

There was no point in getting dressed again—and I didn’t have any clothes that weren’t torn besides. I walked down a dimly lit hall into where I thought I’d heard his voice, and found him waiting for me, half naked on a very large bed.

At spotting me in the doorway, he patted the empty spot beside himself. “Turn off the light and come here.”

I turned off the light behind me readily.

Turning off the light in front of me, however, was a different creature.

But…Rhaim was here.

He would make sure I was safe.

I knew it—I had to know it—all my hopes for our future depended on it?—

“Lia,” he said, slightly more kindly, mistaking my hesitance for something it wasn’t. “I promise not to pounce on you.”

“Yeah?” I teased, forcing a smile.

“C’mere,” he said again, jerking his chin in my direction.

So I held my breath, turned off the light, and ran for the bed, until I could jump into it, almost as fast as the room around me went dark.

It wasn’t completely black though—he’d opened the curtains, which let in a substantial amount of light from the cityscape all around.

“Oh, thank God,” I whispered.

“Why?” he asked, grabbing me to haul me close, the second my knees met the mattress.