Page 168 of My Only

She laughed, her head tilting back in ease, and I couldn’t help but join in.

Once she’d sobered, she ran her fingertips over my chest. “No more not listening to me when I tell you stuff, okay? Especially about people. Okay?”

“Okay. No more.” I resumed absently stroking her leg, my fingers gliding along her skin. “I promise on everything I won’t ever do that again.”

Ayla’s lips curled into a sly grin. Her eyes gradually drifting down to my hand. “You’re gonna make this abstinence thing really hard, huh?”

I groaned, sliding my hand down to her lower back, pulling her flush against me. “Dr. Aldridge isn’t here though…” My lips brushed her ear. “She doesn’t have to know.”

Ayla busted out laughing, swatting my chest. “You better stop, Hassani! Be good—for me. For us.”

I sighed dramatically against her ear, then buried my face in the pillow with a growl.

That made Ayla laugh even harder.

I had no idea how we were going to do this. If she was still in the guest bedroom, maybe I’d survive. But right here next to me? In our bed? Yeah. She was killing me softly.

“I’m serious about following her advice, Hassani.”

I grunted into the pillow once more.

“Hey.” She swatted my chest again. “This was your idea to see this woman.”

“I didn’t think she was gonna cockblock, A.”

Ayla giggled. “She’s not cockblocking. She’s helping. And so far? I think it’s working. It’s only been two sessions, and we’ve already talked about things we never talked about before. Freely.”

“Yeah,” I remarked low. “Like you wanting a baby.”

Ayla held my gaze. She pressed a hand to my chest, and I exhaled.

A baby.

I had so much to make up for. So much I didn’t even realize I’d been missing. And now—this?

I wanted to give Ayla everything. Always. But this? This I needed to sit with. Shift my focus.

Because how the hell did I not see it? How did I not know?

Why didn’t I ask?

I swallowed, rubbing my temple. “I’m gonna need some time to forgive myself for that one, A. Boogie. Because how did I not know that?”

Ayla pressed her lips together and sighed.

The fact that she put her wants on hold for me… That would need to be a real conversation. And when we had it? I had to make damn sure it was at the right time.

She nudged me. “You remember when I used to call your phone in the middle of the night in high school?”

I smiled immediately. “How could I forget?” I chuckled. “My phone would ring at the craziest hours, and I’d have to snatch it up before my dad knocked on my door to ask…” I dropped my voice and deepened the accent, “Who inna di bloodclaat ah phone yuh dis hour?!”

Ayla snorted, then burst into laughter. “But you always answered.”

“I always answered.” I nodded. “Because I knew you needed me… and I really liked being needed by you, baby.”

Her eyes watered. She pressed her bottom lip between her teeth like she was trying to hold back the weight of that moment.

“Transparent moment,” she murmured.

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