Page 77 of Gorgeous

The chime alerts me again, and I’m second guessing my decision not to turn it off. Groaning, I flop over to my stomach, grace and poise not on my mind at all, and grab the noise maker.

It’s Jess.I know something is wrong, bitch. Answer your phone. You don’t send me a text saying, ‘not today Satan’, when all I asked was if you were done with yourAnt-Manreview. Answer. Your. Phone.

Then Milos joins in.Jess is threatening to fly to Georgia, and I quote, “To massacre every motherfucker in that teeny tiny town until she finds you.” What’s going on? We’re here for you.

I almost smile. I love my friends. Jess texts,Cade is dead. And that fucker Hayes, too. Unless he’s hot. I’ll fuck him first before I smother him with the gigantic boobs I’ve yet to pay off.

I read the next one and stop short when I see it’s from Cade.I didn’t want to give you a ride home. I never did.

I knew that and the fact that he’s worried pains me. But I continue, reading the next text from Jess.What’s this Anniston bitch’s last name? Van Helsing? Apparently, the airlines don’t allow weapons on the plane. I’ll have to drive. B!!!

The final text from Milos does me in.The best heroes are the ones who hide in the shadows. Their resilience is always the deadliest.

Each text, in their own way, make me cry harder. I miss Jess. And though I’ve never met Milos, I miss his ass too. He’s right, though. Resilience is the best superpower, and I have it in spades.

I am a motherfucking warrior.

My brother would kick my ass if he saw me wallowing on the floor like an idiot. I may have lost him to the war, but he’s never left my side. He’s been with me this whole time.

And like karma and Thorthrew me a bone, thunder rattles the window in the old farmhouse and I find myself throwing on clothes like it’s a sport, grabbing my phone and rushing outside.

I run through the orchards, swiping at the leaves, a euphoric tingling zipping beneath my skin. Lightning flashes and the heavens open, the rain pouring down in sheets. I fall to my knees with a cry that I’m not sure is happy or sad. I soak up every ounce of love I feel from those rain drops before staring up, blinking through the wetness, and saying to the boy who believed I was a hero, “I see you, Bennett Brannon, and I can feel you, too.”

Have you ever had a moment where you feel like you’re in a dream?

I remember my mom calling me when Bennett died, the indifference as she told me what had happened, like she was talking about the weather or one of Dad’s new companies, not that my only brother was killed overseas, his remains coming back on a plane the following week.

I don’t remember feeling the pain until I laid down that same night and tried Skyping him. He needed to know that our mother had officially lost it … but he never answered. His account was later shut down, and I remember the tears that turned into hysterics.

The silence was horrific, but being alone was the worst.

Not even Jess could soothe me. Alcohol. Doughnuts. You name it, and I tried it. Nothing relieved the overwhelming feeling of being all alone in the world. I lost my brother and my entire family with him. After we buried Bennett, my parents didn’t check to see if I was in need of support. Oh no. My mother had a new audience to coddle when she realized she could open a charity in his memory.

I was an orphan. Abandoned in a world I no longer loved.

Until I found cooking.

And then Cade.

Suddenly, the void I was feeding dried up. Hope bloomed, and so did I.

To make a long story short, I’ve only ever felt like I’ve been in a dream once.

Today makes twice.

I turn in front of the mirror. The strapless crimson dress clings to my breasts, the incredible bra Anniston bought me pushing my girls skyward, convincing any man that I have way more than I’m working with. The tulle skirt flares at my waist, and I feel like a real-life princess. My hair isstyled into a classic updo, and my makeup looks like I’ve never seen a day of sun in my life.

I’m not being a conceited bitch when I say I look fucking hot tonight.

Luckily Anniston has great taste and bought this without me since Cade and I never made it to the dress shop. It’s been five days since Cade confessed. After the night in the rain, I dragged my soaked body back into the house and cried into Sue’s lap for a couple of hours, accepting not one, but two pieces of pound cake before returning all of my messages.

Luckily Jess had calmed down, locating Mason’s number somehow, and he bravely talkedher down. She said she’s saving it in case this happens again, but I know her and she’s saving his number for R-rated reasons.

My text to Milos was filled with crying emojis, and being the gentleman he is, he changed the subject and talked about the newInfinity Warsmovie we are both excited to see.

I saved Cade for last, knowing our conversation would take longer. He asked if I ever wanted to see him again, and duh. I totally did. It was awkward, but then he asked if we could watch a movie together over the phone. I obviously went forThor, the first one. Cade had never seen it, and well, I needed some Chris to perk me up. We found ourselves discussing strategy, Cade letting his military training bleed through. He was so cute trying to figure out how Thor didn’t realize his brother was betraying him. He seemed genuinely upset. When it was over, a heavy silence fell around us and I told him I needed to go. I had a review to write.

He just went for it with no hesitation, no embarrassment.

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