Page 5 of IOU

Most of the guys hadn’t reached my height by ninth grade and therefore shunned anything to do with me. I got it. I made them look short. But not Tucker. Tucker was a beast, even though it seemed as if he stopped growing right around junior year. His height was one of the things that made him perfect for me. He was also fun and confident.

So I held on for the ride through high school, following him to Havemeyer, where he received a scholarship for pre-med. A school where I didn’t receive an award. But we couldn’t be apart—we were soul mates.

Wetness smears my phone screen and makes the trivia question unreadable. I watch as the countdown dwindles to zero, claiming Sasha as the winner by default. But I can’t make myself care. The tears have finally come.

Tucker is gone.

My first kiss.

My first love.

Gone.

How long had he and Taylor been sleeping together? Was it just physical or—I gag—are they in love?

They can’t be.

Tucker and I are destined to be together.

And Taylor, well, she’s ... I’m not going to stoop that low and take a dig at her just because I’m feeling sorry for myself. I’m better than that. At least I think I’m better than that. But I guess Tucker sees something in her that he didn’t see in me.

I blink through the watery tears, the lights still on in my former apartment where Tucker is probably showering the soot off Taylor, using my body wash.

A sob catches in my throat.

How did this happen? How did I become this girl?

I can remember all these big dreams I had growing up. I wanted to save the sea lions. Save the otters and whales. Discover a cure for dementia. I wanted to be the best family counselor this state had ever seen.

Granted, I’m working on the counseling degree, but the rest of it ... those poor sea animals? I gave up that dream and scholarship when Tucker was accepted to Havemeyer. Although Havemeyer has a marine biology program, it has a waiting list longer than Tucker’s lies.

Counseling is still a good career, though, and the odds of making it in marine biology are slim to none. I needed to be realistic. I couldn’t travel from coast to coast if Tucker had a staff position at the hospital. I would have never seen him, much less been able to have a family.

I tear my eyes away from the window when the lights to my old apartment go off. They’re going to bed. Tucker and Taylor are snuggling down in her room, consoling each other from my madness.

Pfft. Who am I kidding? Knowing Tucker and his need for a release before bed, I’m positive they are celebrating their newfound freedom of not having to hide their affair anymore.

His chain has been cut free.

I turn off my phone and tuck it into my side like it’s Lawrence, my poor stuffed sea lion that I left in the apartment, and close my eyes.

In the morning, things will be different.

In the morning, I’ll go back to Lawrence.

In the morning, it’ll be a new beginning.

Rumor has it the price of my company is a cold, lifeless soul.

“You’re either in, or you’re out, Tweener. Make a decision or go giggle with the girls next door.”

Rowan is two seconds from hauling Jacob, aka Tweener, out of his chair and shoving his head through the felt table. The newbie is working his last frazzled nerve.

I pass him a joint. “Relax. Tweener is new.” Precisely why the fresh-faced kid shouldn’t be here. Guys like Tweener look like they should be out playing croquet while downing light beers. They don’t look like they should be sitting around the poker table, testing my friend and game enforcer’s patience.

Wednesday night poker is not amateur night. I created it that way. The cutthroat game of Texas Hold’em at my table is not some drunken card game that every half-decent solitaire player at Havemeyer University can play. With a two-thousand-dollar buy-in, you either have the cash or you don’t play. There is no in-between. Poker, at my table, is invite-only, and if Sebastian, the grinning idiot across from me, weren’t my closest friend, I wouldn’t have let him bring this newbie.

“You may want to wipe that fucking smile off your face,” I say, aiming a stern look at Sebastian, “because if he goes belly up, you’re not leaving here until you cover his debt.” I know he covered his buy-in too. No way did this kid have two grand to piss away.

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