Page 14 of Rebellious

“I can’t risk it,” I finally get out.

Her fingers loosen in my hair, her aggression easing into that of solace. It sucks. God, it sucks, but I have to remind myself this isn’t about me. Aspen and I are part of a bigger picture, and me being selfish can’t happen. It’ll ruin everything.

“Kiss me then?” Her voice quivers, and everything inside of me begs to console her, to give her whatever she wants. The last thing I want to do is cause her pain.

I push her back. Unshed tears wait for the inevitable “no” out of my mouth.

I’m tired of saying no, though.

Moving my palm up her side, careful to avoid anything that will cause my dick to explode, I palm her cheek, tilting her head to the side. “Just this—”

Someone knocks into my stool, and my hand slips from Aspen’s face and back to her hips as I keep us from falling.

“What the fuck?” I shove Aspen’s brother, who took drunk to a whole new level tonight.

Fenn’s glassy eyes smile down at me as he sways from side to side. “Were you about to kiss my sister?”

Aspen groans but then lashes out. “I swear I could junk punch you right now!” Her regal blue eyes are angry, and both of us are seemingly quite sober at the moment.

Fenn laughs. “Just fuck already. No one cares.”

Easy for him to say. He has everything. He was born into stability and forgiving parents. Nothing he will ever do will cause him disfavor.

But for me?

I have everything to lose.

Standing, I grab the untouched glass of water and hand it to Fenn. “Sober up. We’re leaving soon.”

I pull Aspen behind me and lead us into the bathroom, locking us in a stall together. The hope of a last kiss is no longer lingering in her eyes. She knows what needs to happen.

With a sigh, she pulls a black marker from her wristlet. Sadly, we keep one on hand for situations such as these.

Wordlessly, I pull my t-shirt up to my chest, exposing bare skin for once.

“Let me guess,” she says, faking a smile. “No breaking the rules.”

My chest tightens. I want to dart from this room and go for a run—to run my body into complete exhaustion. Reliving this moment later will be torture.

Raising my hand, I cup Aspen’s soft cheek and recite the rule. “No getting drunk together.”

You’d think we would have broken this rule before, but I’m not a drinker, and neither is Aspen. We’ve actually never had a day like this, where we both were waterboarding the shit out of our sorrows.

Aspen nods, closing her eyes for just a moment before I drop my hand. She squats down, eye-level with my stomach, and it sends a flurry of visions through me.

I pinch my eyes shut, feeling the tip of the marker press into my skin, looping lines into letters. Before long, she whispers, “Done.”

I open my eyes and take the marker. Just like I did, Aspen lifts her shirt, exposing her bare, unblemished skin. I press a kiss to her stomach and lower to my knees. The kiss is my apology. It’s also against the rules, but I can’t punish her anymore tonight.

Tonight isn’t her fault.

The rules aren’t her fault.

Aspen is entirely innocent, but yet, she suffers this fate with me. Why? I’ll never know. All I know is she should have walked away from me years ago. She doesn’t deserve this type of relationship.

Quickly, I write the rule on her skin, something we’ll both see in the morning, reminding us of what went wrong tonight.

No getting drunk together.

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