Page 39 of Rebellious

My life has become one of constant fear. What if he’s the one? What if his smile and charming personality steal her away from me?

It’s why I’ve treated her like she was helpless. Like she needed protecting. But really, all I’ve done these past few years is protect myself. I kept guys from talking or looking at her just so they had no chance of taking her from me.

And for what? Because I’m so much better for her? The guy who can never love her because he enforces rules that will prevent him from getting close enough to make mistakes.

“I should have told you about Cooper,” she says finally.

A heaviness pushes on my chest as I think of the possibility of letting her go at the end of the summer—the possibility of the Coopers and Liams of the world making her happy.

“I’m thinking of opening up my own agency,” she whispers. “Or,” she hesitates, “I could work with Thad. It would keep us together.”

My chest… God, why can’t I breathe?

“If I choose one of those, you wouldn’t need to transfer schools, Bennett.”

Her admission is a punch to my gut. “Aspen.”

She moves her hand up the glass, mirroring it with mine. How I wish I could touch her, fold her into my arms and love her like she deserves. But I can’t. We’ve done this for too long. We can’t quit now. I can’t lose sight of why I started the rules in the first place.

The exceptions are coming more frequently.

It’s why I offered to go to the lake house with Fenn and Drew, where we won’t be supervised. Where we can blur the lines and hang onto each other a little longer.

“We can do this, Bennett,” she promises. “Please, just try it. We can be together without the rules.”

I shake my head. “You know we can’t.”

“We can.” Her voice is a whispered plea. “I promise, I won’t let anything happen to them.”

It’s a promise she can’t make.

I groan. The air is chilling as the water runs cold against my back. “The only way you can promise not to destroy our fathers’ friendship is if we follow the rules.”

She’s quiet for a moment, and then I hear sniffles. “They can handle it, Bennett. They can.”

It’s the same conversation we’ve had for years. Sometimes she explodes and tells me to go to hell, and sometimes she cries. Tonight, it looks like the latter. And it fucking kills me. “Your father can handle it,” I clarify. “Not mine.”

“Bennett, Cade is—”

“Is fragile!” I suck in a breath, reining in my anger. “I can’t afford to be the person who destroys the first friendship he’s had since my uncle’s death.” I let my eyes drift shut. “I can’t do that to him, Aspen.”

“I understand,” she whispers, but I know she’s not telling the truth. No one understands the pain my father suffered when losing those men—my uncle included—in the line of duty.

He was destroyed, wandering around the streets, rotting. If it wasn’t for Anniston finding him, getting him the help he needed, he would have never met my mom. He would have never gotten to the point of establishing another friendship—something he vowed never to have—with Theo. What kind of son would I be if I took what I wanted, consequences be damned?

It’s not that I don’t love Aspen, I do. But the thought of doing irreparable damage to my father’s friendship causes a type of pain I can’t live with.

I can’t risk my father leaving again. I can’t risk him going down that dark path, or worse. I can’t risk my mother losing her husband or my brother losing his idol.

It’s too much to bear. I have to think about the wellbeing of our families. Aspen’s and mine. Theo won’t leave Fenn and Aspen, but what if me dating his daughter sends him into a rage? What if he disapproves and kicks my family off his land? What if the veterans who come here every day lose their place of refuge? What if loving Theo’s daughter destroys everything?

“Then we’ll cherish this last summer together.”

Aspen’s voice shocks me back into our present reality. “What?” I shake my head. “What are you saying?”

Her voice shakes. “I’m saying I understand, Bennett. I won’t ask you to change your rules again. Cade is important to me too. But after this summer, I think it’s best we part ways.”

No.

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