Page 108 of The Potter

Halle might be living in a shithole, but she seems to like them. She looks healthy and happy with dipshit out front. She’s moved on, and I’m here, trying to drag her back.

Without a word, I shake my head and try for an apologetic smile, which apparently concerns Halle.

“Vance, are you okay? Talk to me.”

After all that I’ve done to her, she’s still consoling me. No matter how many times I repeat that I deserve happiness, I will never be worthy of this woman. She deserves so much more than I can offer her.

“I—” I take a step back. I need to get out of here before I fuck her life up even more.

But then she gets out of the shower. Her naked body is stunning as I take in her healed scars, flat stomach, and… worried eyes.

She puts her hands on my shoulders and—fuck it.

I drop to my knees, wrapping my arms around her legs. “Forgive me,” I beg, bowing my head and fighting back the emotion clogging my throat. “Forgive me, Peach. I’ve been such a bastard to you.”

Halle’s fingers thread through my hair. “Bastard is putting it lightly.” She chuckles, and it’s the sweetest sound I’ve heard in months.

“That’s true,” I agree, “I said some awful things you didn’t deserve to hear.”

“No, I didn’t, Vance, but you said them anyway, because you wanted to hurt me.”

“No.” I try shaking my head, but Halle holds it still with her hands. “I wanted to hurt myself, and you kept pulling me out of this dark place where it was easier to deal with the pain.”

I can feel my shirt getting wetter as the water drips from Halle’s body.

“And are you happier in that dark place?” She lifts my head and forces me to meet her gaze. Seeing her now, with all her goodness, I realize what an epic fool I’ve been.

“No, Peach, I’m not happy there. I never was.”

I can see the tears well in her eyes, but she doesn’t let them fall. My beautifully strong girl… She was always braver than me. “Why are you here, Vance? What do you want from me?”

Everything.

Whatever you’ll give me.

But I’ll start with, “Forgiveness.” I press a kiss to her bare stomach. “I took your advice, I forgave myself, but I can’t move forward without…”You.“…your forgiveness. I did wrong by you, Halle, and I’m not naïve enough to expect that you’ll offer me a second chance, but I’m hoping you’ll grace me with forgiveness. I don’t want to be another man who takes even a minute away from your happiness. You deserve a future full of possibilities and good memories. Don’t let my behavior be the dark spot that takes away from your beautiful soul.”

For a moment, the only noise is the shower running. Halle doesn’t speak, and my chest burns in response. She doesn’t forgive me, and like I knew would happen, disappointment settles in.

But this isn’t about me.

This is about Halle and her future.

I might want to throw her over my shoulder and drag her back to Bloomfield, but it would be a selfish decision. So, even if I’d rather drown myself in Oscar’s fishbowl than live without Halle in my life, I will, because I love her.

I want to see her happy, even if it’s without me.

With one last press of my lips to her body, I stand, slipping my jacket off and draping it over her shoulders as tears streak down her face. “I needed you to know that I am so very sorry.”

There’s no need to tell her that I love her. I fucked up the right to love her when I basically told her she was nothing but a patient to me. This is my punishment. Leaving her with a teenager, who needs his ass kicked just as hard as mine. “I promise this is the last time I’ll bother you.”

I allow myself one last look at her. One last memory before I let her go and move on. “Good—“

“I forgive you!” Her words are garbled with her sobs, but I’m pretty sure that’s what she says. “Ifuckinglove you, Vance! Does that make you happy?”

Okay, so that definitely cleared things up.

I close my eyes and inhale. I’ve waited to hear those words, but the lightness didn’t come like it had with Calista. “No, Peach. I’m never happy seeing you cry.” But the love thing I can definitely live with.

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