Page 18 of The Refiner

Piper got the shit end of the stick, and she didn’t deserve it. She was a better human than most people. She deserved more than this world took from her.

She deserved better than me.

Better than that piece of shit man who knocked—

“Keys?”

I would know that voice from anywhere. I’ve only spent days cursing his name as I’ve sat by my sister’s bedside, waiting for him to return my call.

“Oh, look,” I mumble to Piper, dropping her hand and wiping the tears from my face, “it’s Dr. Douche. He’s finally come home from his cruise to see you.” I tuck Piper’s hands under the blanket. I don’t want Astor to see her tattoo. My sister went to great lengths to keep her image as a doctor boring. I don’t want Astor to see she was full of life and fun when she wasn’t wearing a lab coat. Granted, he’s probably seen her tattoo and knows she’s fun seeing how he knocked her up, but still. The tattoo was mine and Piper’s secret. I won’t allow him to steal anything else from me.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been overseas. I just heard about Piper.”

You know, if I hadn’t seen the book full of letters and pictures in Piper’s den, I would have thought he sounded sincere. But what man leaves his pregnant girlfriend-one-nighter, whatever they called it, and goes on vacation for six months? I’ll tell you. One that wasn’t ready to be a father. Oh, I’ve seen dick bags like him before at work. Those guys are so excited for any work trip to get away from their wives and kids, living it up like bachelors, wining and banging total strangers on the company’s dime.

Yeah, sell that sincerity somewhere else, sweetheart, because I’m not buying.

“I heard. I hope it wasn’t too much of a hassle to cut your trip short. I know how needy Piper can get.”

“What?”

I don’t bother looking up or making eye contact with him because tears start falling. Big, raindrop-sized tears start pouring from my eyes for the stupidest reason.

“She’s really gone.” I lie my head against Piper’s hand, seeking comfort that never comes. “If she were still here with me, she would have hit me for being mean to you. She hated when I was ugly—especially to you. And now—” I feel the weight of his presence before I have the courage to turn my head and open my eyes, taking in his simple jeans and gray t-shirt. “And now…” I blink back the tears, noticing his skin’s paleness, tired eyes, and firm mouth. “And now you just look a hot mess, and I can’t even tease my sister that she was catfished.”

Really, him looking like an average Joe and not Dr. Dreamy is perking me up. In Keagan’s mental health reservoir, distractions are always welcome, especially at someone else’s expense.

“I’m glad I can amuse you.”

His deep baritone voice snaps my joy. “Well, at least you’re good for something. Clearly, being a decent man isn’t one of those traits.”

I’ll admit, the jerk of his body and the confused look almost has me doubting myself. But the evidence in Piper’s house was clear. This man avoided her like I avoid McGee.

“I’m sorry, Keagan, I didn’t know. Otherwise, I would have—”

“What? Cut your trip short to watch her die?”

Wake up, Piper. Wake up and tell me to stop being mean to him. Plead his case and tell me he isn’t the man I think he is. Tell me I have this all wrong, and he loves you and plans to marry you. Tell me that he wanted this baby more than you did, and y’all were just waiting on the right time to tell me that you were moving in together. Just. Wake. Up.

I watch Piper’s chest move up and down, the machine forcing air into her lungs, keeping her here with me until I can be brave enough to let her go. I want to, I do. Seeing Piper lying there with tubes all over and machines forcing her body to do what it doesn’t want, it breaks my heart.

“Do you think she’s suffering?”

I don’t know why I ask him. Maybe I want him to tell me that she’s fine and Dr. Cox is senile and doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Perhaps I just want someone to talk to me. Sitting here for days without anyone has been brutal. The only enjoyment I got was writing Astor nasty notes and using Piper’s ID to get into his neighborhood. I would have keyed his car if it hadn’t been in the garage.

Astor sighs and rakes his hands through his hair. “I don’t know.”

“Did you talk to Dr. Cox?”

He nods his head.

“Did he tell you she’s brain dead?”

Everything inside me clenches.

Say he was wrong. I promise I won’t say another mean thing to you again.

“He did.”

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