Page 31 of The Refiner

I don’t know if she’s asking for her, for Tatum, or for Piper, but it wouldn’t matter. “I promise.”

I wake to soft whimpers. The mattress does nothing to absorb her shaking as she covers her mouth with her hand. “Keagan?” I sit up, and she springs from the bed, leaving the book she was reading behind.

“I’m the worst sister,” she cries, waking up Kenny.

“That’s not true, boo,” he says, his voice groggy with sleep. “Piper would never think you were a bad sister.”

She shakes her head almost violently and points to the book on the bed that contains ultrasounds and Piper’s letters. “She loved that little girl so much, and I haven’t even bothered to go take care of the one thing that mattered more than anything to her. The one thing she gave up her life for.”

Kenny and I both look at one another. Keagan seems like a wild animal. Her eyes are bloodshot, and her face is swollen. I doubt she slept at all. From the looks of it, she sat up all night reading Piper’s book—the one she couldn’t bear to read before, when she thought it was a book of proof meant for me.

“That whole book is a love story to her daughter.” She tries pulling in breaths between sobs. “A little girl that will never know what it feels like to be loved by Piper McKellan.”

Kenny gets to Keagan first and wraps his arms around her. “She’ll know how much Piper loved her because she’ll know what it feels like to be loved by you.”

“No, she won’t. Because I’m not Piper. I don’t know how to love like that. Something is wrong with me.”

Kenny shushes her, gently swaying from side to side like she’s fragile. And she is, but while Piper and Keagan are vastly different, there’s one thing they both love: proving men wrong.

“I’m sure Tatum will understand,” I say, breaking through her cries, “you can’t help if you live far away and are preoccupied.”

Kenny’s head snaps up, and I flash him a quick wink.

“We’ll still FaceTime you on her birthday, so you can see her.”

Keagan’s head rises slowly off Kenny’s chest. “I hope you don’t think that I won’t be there for my niece, just because I’m sucky.” She wipes angrily at her face and steps away from him, poking me in the chest with her finger. “You promised that you wouldn’t take anyone else away from me.”

“And I won’t.” I fight back a smile as determination fills her eyes.

“Oh, I know you won’t.” She pokes me again, growing stronger with each word. “Because I might be her sucky Aunt Keys, but I’ll be the best sucky Aunt Keys she’s ever had. And I don’t need you or your future trophy wife thinking you’re getting rid of me that easily.”

I feign shock. “I would never think such a thing.”

I promised Keagan strength today, and if that means making her hate me to find her strength, then so be it. She’s getting through this day. We’re all getting through this day.

“You know what?” Keagan shoves me. “You’re already pissing me off this morning.” But then she looks down at my sweatpants and grins. “Meet me outside—after you do something with that early morning dong salute. It’s time you introduced me to my niece.”

Keagan

Great. He has a fan club, and Kenny, who decided this was a moment for just Astor and me, isn’t here to witness it.

“Dr. Astor, we’re so glad you’re feeling better.”

He’s feeling better, all right. It’s amazing what a little bit of sleep did for the man, which Piper should thank me for. It’s not like I enjoyed feeling his chest rise against my arm where, at one point, he pulled me toward him when I tried to get up. The man needs a teddy bear, like yesterday.

But I did it for my sister and Tatum—took one for team McKellan. They’ll need their prince strong today—stronger than me. I didn’t mean to have a total meltdown. Hell, I didn’t even mean to read so much of Piper’s book. But I felt guilty for jumping to conclusions about Astor. My bad experiences with men have turned me jaded. Never did I imagine the reason Astor was on a mission trip was because he was helping children in need. Like, wow.

I thought Astor was another run-of-the-mill pretentious surgeon that Piper knew from the hospital. And while I’m not entirely sold on the fact he isn’t an arrogant ass, I’m not sure he’s a bad guy either. I read Piper’s book, hoping to uncover more of the truth about Astor, more about why she felt she couldn’t at least tell me about Tatum. I would have kept her secret; I didn’t know Astor. I definitely wouldn’t have made time to write him a scathing letter while he was off being a philanthropist.

But there’s a reason Piper didn’t tell me she was pregnant.

There has to be.

Because I can’t fathom my sister keeping the one thing from me that made her the happiest unless… No. Piper would never think I would be jealous of sharing her with a baby or a husband. I would be happy for her. I mean, I would stalk the shit out of Astor first, but when he came back a decent man, I would have let him marry my sister if he wanted.

“Are you ready to hold your daughter?”

I had tuned out the chatter from the nurses who were giving Astor far too much attention, but this question caught my ear, pulling me into their conversation.

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